Withnail and I script
Synopsis: Withnail and I is a 1987 British black comedy film written and directed by Bruce Robinson. Based on Robinson's life in London in the late 1960s, the plot follows two unemployed young actors, Withnail and "I" (portrayed by Richard E. Grant and Paul McGann) who live in a squalid flat in Camden Town in 1969 while squandering their finances on alcohol. Needing a holiday, they obtain the key to a country cottage in the Lake District belonging to Withnail's lecherous gay uncle Monty and drive there. The weekend holiday proves less recuperative than they expected.

[He rushes up the the sink.]


Oh Christ Almighty. Synous nicotine based. Keep back, keep back. The

entire sink's gone rotten. I don't know what's in here.

[He picks up the kettle from the stove then throws it suddenly into the



I told you. you've been bitten!


Burnt, burnt, the fucking kettle's on fire.


There's something floating up.

Withnail [with a fork in his hand]:

Fork it!


No no no, I don't want to touch it.


You must you must. The poop will boil through the glaze. We'll never

be able to use the dinner service again.

[He rumages about in a drawer.]


Here, get it with the pliers!


No, no, no, no, no, no. Give me the gloves.


That's right, put on the gloves. Don't attempt anything without the


[I starts to move things about in the sink rather gingerly.]


What is it? What have you found?




Matter? Where's it coming from?


Don't look. Don't look. I'm dealing with it!


I think we've been in here too long. I feel unusual. I think we should

go outside.


The Park

[Withnail and I walk along a path in the park.]


This is ridiculous, look at me. I'm thirty in a month and I've got a

sole flapping off my shoe.


It'll get better, it has to.


Easy for you to say lovey. You've had an audition. Why can't I have an

audition. It's ridiculous: I've been to drama school. I'm good

looking. I tell you, I've a fuck sight more talent that half the

rubbish that gets of TV. Why can't I get on TV?


Well I don't know. It'll happen.


Will it? That's what you say. The only programme I'm likely to get on

is the fucking news. I tell you, I can't take much more of this. I'm

going to crack.


I'm in the same boat.


Yeah, yeah. I feel as sick as a pike. I'm going to have to sit down.

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Bruce Robinson

Bruce Robinson (born 2 May 1946) is an English director, screenwriter, novelist and actor. He is arguably most famous for writing and directing the cult classic Withnail and I (1987), a film with comic and tragic elements set in London in the 1960s, which drew on his experiences as "a chronic alcoholic and resting actor, living in squalor" in Camden Town. more…

All Bruce Robinson scripts | Bruce Robinson Books

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"Withnail and I" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2018. Web. 17 Jan. 2018. <http://www.scripts.com/script/withnail_and_i_955>.

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