Wishin' and Hopin' Page #3

Who would like to go to the map

To point out where Quebec

is located?

Oui, mademoiselle.

I would love to, Madame.

Tres, tres bien.

Et...

what might your name be?

Je suis mademoiselle Rosalie.

Ah, vous parlez Francais.

Un petit peu.

I believe

that children work best

When they are...

confortable.

Donc take this opportunity

To find a seat

wherever you would like.

Whoo!

- Yes!

- All right!

But, Madame,

What about the class ranking?

All that matters is what is

in my grade book, mademoiselle.

Depeche-toi.

Merci.

God bless you.

Comment vous appelez vous?

Huh?

I asked you what your name is.

Oh, Felix Funicello.

Ah.

But you remind me of another

little garcon Italien,

Donc I shall call you

monsieur Dondi.

Oh, Christ.

He likes bread

and butter

he likes toast and jam

Monsieur Dondi.

Cream it, Turdski.

At pops' lunch counter,

You could swivel your stool

And follow the arc

of our cousin's career.

From mouseketeer

to recent films

Like beach blanket bingo,

Her star ascended

as her cup size worked its way

Through the alphabet.

Je suis...

Getting very, very dizzy.

What's that you're speaking

there, Lix?

Pig Latin?

Um, it happens to be French.

Our new teacher's making us

learn it.

Wow, ooh la la.

Your old lady says

I got to feed you.

So what do you want?

French toast?

I got a nice bottle

of French dressing.

That was so funny,

I forgot to laugh.

All right, Pepe Le pew,

How about I find you a little

chicky boom boom?

She can teach you

how to French kiss.

French kiss?

That's chino,

High-School dropout and

my adult figure for the night.

It's when the boy and the girl

put their tongues

In each other's mouths.

Yick.

Don't knock it

till you try it.

All right, what will it be?

A Sal's torpedo

and a coke.

No fries?

They're French.

I'll get them myself.

Oh, okay, hotshot.

Why don't you put some tunes on

while you're at it.

She's playing on the juke now?

This place has Funicello fever.

Um, she happens

to be our cousin.

Hey, pal, is this a kid,

Or did a munchkin wander off

the yellow brick road?

Oh, let's just say

he's still a little sore

About that dead witch

in his backyard.

Oh, yeah, I got a good one

for you guys.

How is a woman like an oven?

How?

Well, you got

to heat them both up

Before you stick

in the meatloaf.

So long, fellas.

Come on.

Don't let those squids

bother you.

They're just a couple

of screwballs.

It takes one to know one.

Oh, that hurts,

really.

Hold the floor for me

for a second, will you?

I got to pee.

Hi, honey.

What's wrong?

Do you know

what time it is?

We stopped to get

mom's hair styled

After we went shopping.

Yeah, I mean,

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