Wild Oats Page #2

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Oh, well, he sounds very colorful.

Anyway, his third wife just passed away.

- Oh, I'm so sorry.

- How many legs did she have?

I-I guess what I'm trying to say is,

he's very lonely, and he always

thought you were so pretty.

Oh. We never met.

In my yearbook photos.

Well, that... that was many,

many years ago, dear.

Well, anyway, I was... I was just thinking...

- Get out!

- Shush, Maddie.

Oh, I don't know what I'm saying.

He's just so lonely.

And you say he's just got the one leg?

Well, for the moment, yeah.

I'm sorry, Mrs. Fenton.

This should be your day.

I thought so, too.

Triglycerides, 83. HDL, 40.

Your LDL, 122. Might want to cut down

on the red meats and dairy.

But, all in all, you're in great shape.

Charlie, do you have a test for Alzheimer's?

Yes. But why would you be interested?

Because yesterday

I walked out of the ladies' room

at the Starlight Diner

and I made the wrong turn

and I ended up in the kitchen.

Is that normal?

What'd you have for breakfast this morning?

Uh, two poached eggs, homemade grape jam

over one slice of seven-grain bread.

Mrs. Fenton, your mind is

a steel trap. Now go away.

Charlie, do you mind if I pay

you on the first of the month?

I really hate to ask.

- Of course. Don't worry about it.

- Thank you.

You know, you were

the best teacher I ever had.

Thank you.

And I never get tired of hearing that.

- You know what I always remember?

- What's that?

How you would talk about

Christopher Columbus.

Well, he was so awful.

Yeah, but you always had a way

of making it come alive.

Okay, he was brave.

How he had the wind on the deck,

the fear of the unknown...

The genocide of the Indians.

Well, yeah, that, too.

- Thank you, Doc.

- Well... How's Maddie Reynolds doing?

- She's fine.

- Yeah?

She holding up okay?

I'm sorry?

Oh, no. Just... tell her I said hi.

No, wait. Wh-What's wrong with her?

Uh, just tell her I said hi.

Maddie, what is the matter with you?

Well, I could stand to lose ten pounds.

- Maddie...

- And weird as it may sound,

I mean, some people find me depressing.

- Please.

- While others envy me for my fantastic figure.

- Please tell me.

- And still others

leave me for their secretaries.

He left you?

He packed up his clothes

and moved in with Clarissa's 25-year-old ass.

Oh, my.

Do you know how great my ass was?

It's still the envy of the town.

Not anymore.

Pull yourself together.

- You know what really kills me?

- I don't want to know.

What... does she see in him?

Hi.

What can I get for you ladies today?

Would you... date someone in their 60s?

I'm sorry?

Uh, French toast... that really looked good.

I mean, would you go out

with a man in his 60s?

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