Wild Child Page #2

versus the Rolex,

the Wagon Wheel is going to

trounce it every time.

- What's a Wagon Wheel?

Jesu Christi, you

have not lived.

Ew.

- That's carbs and sugar.

What a revelation.

I had no idea.

- What the bleep is that?

None of your

bleeping business.

It's an iPhone.

Good luck getting a

signal. We only have...

two hot spots that

work round here.

Maybe you should try entering

the 21st century, Buck Rogers.

This place is medieval.

It's imperative that

I make my phone calls.

It's pointless anyway.

We're only allowed

mobiles on weekends.

How am I supposed to

call my therapist?

She's joking, right?

Oh, sweetheart,

this is not Beverly

Hills, 90210.

Just put it away before

Matron catches you.

- Where's your trunk?

- Hasn't been delivered yet.

No.

No, no, no. Not the

new season Gucci. No.

The Choos. No.

This is all only

hand-washable.

This is ridiculous.

- Why...

- What? I might get thirsty.

You know, in the

UK we have this...

amazing thing.

It's called a tap.

Welcome back, girls.

Oh, good, staff. How quickly...

can you get all

this stuff cleaned?

- Is she...

- American.

Oh, yes, we had one

of those in 1997.

Not good.

Accustom her to my

rules, and she should...

be in the correct

uniform for a start.

Mobile phones, please, girls.

Thank you, Kiki.

Thank you, Josie.

Thank you, Kate.

Whoa. Hands off, mama.

I said, hands off.

I am Scottish, not remedial.

Good, then you understand.

Line dry, press, no

starch, and no creases.

How dare you? No

mufti for a week.

Fine. Mufti may be

your thing, lady,

but it sure ain't mine.

- She means no home

clothes for a week.

Like I give a sh*t.

- I'll be gone by then.

- Language.

Two Sundays detention.

For the whole dorm.

I'll deal with this.

Look, hey. Hey.

Here's a Ben Franklin.

Why don't you go out

and buy yourself...

Well, anything.

Whatever you get...

will be a serious improvement.

Three Sundays. For everyone.

- Thanks a lot for

that, you utter moron.

What are you, mental?

What? She was a

grade one a-hole...

with a severe

attitudinal problem.

The bell's going

to go in a minute.

Just put your uniform on.

Now.

You will never get away

with that uniform, for start,

and FYI, no

drinking, no smoking,

no alcohol.

No fireworks, no

dangerous weapons,

no illegal drugs.

If you have a

problem with someone,

no random bitching.

Structure your point.

No Web surfing, no bullying.

So, if you behave

like an arsehole,

we all suffer, so do not

get us in your sh*t...

- or we will break you.

- Oh, I'm scared.

- Hi, Kate. Hi, how

are you? Hi, Kate.

Hello.

What are you, like,

prom queen or something?

Kate's got a

terrible affliction.

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