Wiener Dog Internationals Page #2

Our Dad's on his way

to propose to Melanie. Ugh! Those two

and their blatant

disregard for the rules! Oh, this is bad.

This is very, very bad. Wait, are you upset because

you won't have a U.S. racer? Well, it's not we won't have

a racer, it's who we will

have if you two don't race. Can't Handshake

go in our place? Or one of the other dogs

that placed in the Nationals? Does anyone read

the rules, except me? No! That's not how it works! Just as the Nationals

have a rulebook, right, now, so do the Internationals. But the International rulebook

is much bigger and thicker and longer and harder

and much more cumbersome

for me to understand. Mainly because it's composed

of 37 different languages, and I don't speak

Swahili that well. So, who will go

in our place then? -Mrs. Merryweather.

-She was disqualified! Oh, for the Nationals, yes.

But this is the Wiener Dog

Internationals. -They are two

separate organizations.

-What's the difference? One ends in an "N,"

the other ends in an "I". But isn't a race a race? [sighs] Little Bo Bridget,

you obviously have never been

to the Internationals. It's not just a race. No, it's the motherload

grand dame of all races. I must speak to your father.

Here, have him call me. We need to make sure

that you stay in the race. Now, I leave tomorrow. Perhaps, you could ride

with me if you like. I can't even look at you,

Shelly. I'm just too upset. Okay, well if you insist. One, just one

little itty-bitty,

teeny-weeny little pet. [speaks in baby-talk] That's such a good puppy.

Such a good, good, good girl.

Yes, it is. -[Danny] Judge Brown?

-Well, we must speak

to your father. Rule 12.23 clearly states

that if you are not

in the stands at the time your race is announced,

Mrs. Merryweather

will race in your place. Now, you can sign this form

withdrawing from the race and I will contact

Miss Merryweather. Or you can convince your father

to let you partake in

the Wiener Dog Internationals. The choice is yours.

Choose wisely. So, if we sign this,

can we go next year? [laughs] Yes, of course. But only as

a mere spectator. Good day. So, this may really be our only

chance to go to this thing. Keeping her warm

for next year? Yeah, I guess. You know, I thought you two

would be having more fun

giving me a hard time, making my life

all difficult and all. Is that what

you expected? If I were you, I'd be

giving me a hard time. I can be more difficult

on you, if you'd like. I didn't mean for it

to sound like I was

asking for it. [laughs] Can I show you something? Sure. [blows whistle] Come on! Yes! Distance divided

by time equals speed. Shelly went 22 miles per hour! Wow. You're way too into math. Well, I'm gonna go spend

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