Whoopee!

ALL:
Whoopee! Whoopee!

Whoopee! Whoopee!

(ALL WHOOPING)

(ALL CLAMORING)

Quiet, folks.

We've ridden 20 miles

today to see

Sally Morgan and Sheriff Bob Wells

get married!

ALL:
Whoopee!

Whoopee!

What a wild man

you are, Bill!

Wild enough

to tame you!

Oh, yeah!

Yeah!

(ALL LAUGHING)

Oh!

A cowboy's a wild man

But, oh, what a mild man

the wildest of cowboys can be

One girl can subdue him

If she'll bill and coo him

Then goodbye

to his liberty

I'm married, so take it

from me, gee!

MEN:
Cowboy, you're

gone from the start

With the lassie who

lassoes your heart

Oh, she takes

just one look at you

And, cowboy, your wild days

are through

WOMEN:
You go out and buy her

the tiniest size in rings

She ties you tight

to the end of her apron strings

MEN:
And cowboy you're branded

right from the start

By the lassie who

lassoes your heart

ALL:
Whoopee!

Whoopee!

(ALL CHEERING)

(LIVELY INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)

ALL:
Whoopee! Whoopee!

ALL:
Cowboy, you're

gone from the start

With the lassie who

lassoes your heart

Oh, she takes

just one look at you

And, cowboy,

your wild days are through

You go out and buy her

the tiniest size in rings

She ties you tight

to the end of her apron strings

And cowboy you're branded

right from the start

By the lassie who

lassoes your heart!

(LAUGHING)

Hey, Sheriff Bob,

how do you like these

outfits we rented for your wedding?

You look like a bunch of

scared coyotes.

Why, that sick cuss

Henry Williams

told us this is

the right way to dress.

Henry Williams did, eh?

Yeah!

Well, he was kidding you,

you dumb critters!

Well, if he was, we're

gonna do a little kidding ourselves

when we catch

hold of him!

Come on, fellas.

Let's go on.

Let's go get him.

(MISS CUSTER HUMMING)

Here's that stuff from the drugstore,

Miss Custer!

Thank you, Bud.

Costs 15 bucks.

Why, that's cheap.

Here's your change.

Thank you.

Say, is that guy

Henry Williams

really as sick as

he thinks he is?

He's so full of pills,

they can't operate on him.

He keeps rolling

off the table!

(BOTH LAUGHING)

Come on, sweetheart.

Come on, little girl.

Come on, darling!

There you are! Come on in!

There you go!

There you are!

Henry Williams,

what's that?

Condensed milk.

What are you going

to do with the calf?

Miss Custer, remember, I'm lonesome,

and I need a companion.

Well, if you want

a companion,

why don't you

get a nice girl?

Well, that's

a good idea, too.

But I don't know,

I feel so safe with a calf.

Give me that.

Well, I don't mean that.

Miss Custer, leave my baby go!

Oh, please leave her go.

Go on,

you troublemaker!

Miss Custer,

I don't think I'll be troubling

you much longer!

Don't talk like

that, Henry.

Why, when you came west a year ago,

you may have been sick then,

but now you're as

healthy as I am!

Is that good?

There's really nothing

the matter with you.

Nothing the...

What about the pain

around my heart?

That'll go away.

Yeah, and I'll

go with it.

And then how

about my stomach?

Just a little

indigestion.

A little

indigestion!

My stomach is so bad

when my grandfather died,

he left me $20,000,

and in six weeks,

I'd spent it all on milk of magnesia.

Would you

believe that?

And what about

my lungs?

The doctor says your lungs are

practically brand new.

They should be.

I've never used them.

For nine years,

I've been breathing with my liver.

Henry, you are just

a hypochondriac!

Yes, am I?

How would you like

to see my operation?

No, no, sit down.

Poor Henry, let me

hold your hand.

It's not heavy. I can manage.

Hold your own hand.

Oh, Henry, when I

do hold your hand, like this,

and put my arm

around you

and kind of snuggle

up to you like that,

doesn't it suggest

anything to you?

Yes, it does,

but with my health,

I'd better not

think about it.

Sit down.

(ALARM RINGING)

Henry,

I've been your nurse

for three years now, haven't I?

(MUMBLING)

Nurse for three years.

Do you know why I

studied nursing?

No, why?

Because I'm romantic.

No.

Most girls like big,

strong, healthy men.

Husky, husky.

Yeah, but not me.

No?

I like weak men.

Oh.

I have a positive

passion for a weak man.

I suppose if I was paralyzed,

you'd be cuckoo about me, huh?

(ALARM RINGING)

Silly.

Henry.

I'll bet you don't

know what today is.

(GROANS)

What is today?

Today is Sally's

wedding day.

Can't you feel it, Henry?

It's in the air!

It's all around us.

Romance!

Look in my eyes,

Henry!

I'm looking.

You know I love you.

Oh, Miss Custer!

And you know that

I'm sure that you love me!

Oh, please, Miss Custer!

Oh, Henry, don't you

know how I feel?

Henry, marry me!

Put me down!

Put me down! Put me down.

Listen, darling!

Get away with

your passion.

You give me

goose pimples.

Will you go away?

Go away.

Oh, Henry, please.

Please, marry me.

Why, I'd take such good care of you.

I'd keep you

comfy and warm!

But it would be much cheaper

for me to get a hot water bottle.

Go ahead, will you,

Miss Custer?

Oh, how can you hurt a person's feeling?

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry if

I've offended you.

But you work me up to

such a pitch with your lovemaking.

Why do you do it?

You know I'm not well.

Why do you make

overtures to me

when I need intermissions

so badly?

Besides, Miss Custer, I couldn't marry you.

I'm too delicate.

But I love you

that way.

Yes, but it wouldn't be fair to our children

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