Whitney Cummings: I'm Your Girlfriend Page #3

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aggressive towards us.

'Cause 10-15 years ago, you guys

didn't talk that way about women.

You guys would say, you know,

like, "I'm gonna tap that."

Right? "I'm gonna hit that."

Now it's like, "I'm gonna murder it."

I feel like in 10 years,

it's gonna be so disgusting.

Guys, you'll be like, "Hooked up

with this girl the other night.

"Scalped the b*tch, bro.

"She's a full amputee now.

"Motherfucking no legs.

"Eats from a tube.

"My dick.

You know Helen Keller? My dick did that."

It's too much.

I don't think music is helping.

Music has gotten so rude towards women.

Have you guys heard the song "Fight Night."

No black people here? That's embarrassing.

Santa Monica. Hashtag Santa Monica.

(laughter, applause)

Are you applauding? Like,

some kind of white power rally?

Don't applaud that!

Oh, God.

The song goes, "I'm

gonna knock that p*ssy out

like it's fight night."

That's a song.

There's another song that says

"I'm gonna beat that p*ssy up."

I'm like, I'm sorry, what did

our vaginas ever do to you?

Besides give you life

and make you feel amazing all the time?

How 'bout instead of beating

it up and knocking it out,

how 'bout maybe, I don't

know, giving it an orgasm?

I don't know.

(cheering, applause)

I would like to hear that song.

"I'm gonna make you climax, girl.

I'm gonna make you trust me."

I...

(laughter)

I would like to hear that song.

I blame rappers.

It's not just male rappers,

female rappers are just as bad.

You guys know Nicki Minaj?

Yeah, big Nicki Minaj fans?

I used to love Nicki Minaj.

But then I heard her talk,

and it wasn't good.

So, she sounded like such a hypocrite,

and I think she's a bad role model

'cause she was up there, and she was like,

"You know, men don't respect me in

the rap game because I'm a woman,

and people don't respect

me 'cause I'm a woman."

I was like, no, no, no. Uh, not at all.

We don't respect you 'cause

we can see your a**hole.

Has nothing to do with the

fact that you're a woman, okay?

We respected Mary J. Blige just fine.

Here's my point.

I think that women should be

able to be sexy and glamorous,

and feminine and professional.

You could be a myriad of things.

But as you're getting

dressed for your album cover,

you also have to acknowledge basic

human nature and neurology, okay?

You have to acknowledge the fact that

men's brains are basically only designed

to look for holes.

It's pretty much all they're

doing at any given moment,

just scanning for crevices.

They're like gophers, just

looking for holes to get into.

Counting, like, two, four...

eight, that's a golf course.

Constantly adding them up.

So, sometimes we have to help you guys out.

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