Whitney Cummings: I'm Your Girlfriend Page #2
- TV-MA
- Year:
- 2016
- 70 min
- 217 Views
we should agree on a definition of
bad that works for both of us, okay?
I'm a comedian, my taste
is a little bit off.
If I was really gonna double down
on the bad girl game, I'd be like,
"Yeah, I'm a bad girl, I have
herpes and I didn't tell you, yeah."
- Man:
No!- "No"?
"It's not... That's not an
aphrodisiac, okay, right.
We'll circle back, I'll work on that."
Guys like girls to be babies,
guys like girls to be bad,
and guys like girls to be exotic.
Guys are into exotic girls now.
I know this because a girlfriend of mine
set me up on a blind date with this guy,
then she called me and rescinded the date.
She was like, "Yeah,
it's not gonna work out.
I found out he's only into Cuban girls."
I was like, "All right, I
can put on some self-tanner,
and drink out of a f***ing
coconut. What do you want?"
And she was like, "No, it's
not about the skin color.
"He's not into Brazilian girls, he's
not into Spanish, it's just Cuban."
And I was trying to figure out like, what is
the fetish of the island of Cuba? Just Cuba.
The only thing I could deduce is that
Cuban girls must be super fun to date
'cause they're super easy to impress
'cause they've never had
American products before.
So, he's like, "I got you a Coca-Cola."
She's like, "Oh my God,
he's a millionaire!"
Yeah, you guys have to read
the news to get that one.
and harder for you guys
to find these kind of
weak, submissive women.
'Cause women aren't like that
anymore. Women are badasses now.
All my girlfriends are strong,
self-sufficient, have awesome jobs, you know?
And I... Here's the thing.
but I don't know if you guys like it.
I think you guys are mad at us about it,
and it's coming out in nefarious ways.
Like, the way guys talk about
women has gotten more aggressive.
The way guys talk about having sex
with women has gotten super violent.
I was talking to a guy friend
and he goes,
"I hooked up with this
girl the other night.
Destroyed that sh*t."
It's like, "Excuse me?"
He goes, "Yeah, dude, I
murdered that sh*t, bro."
It's like, first of all,
you did not murder her.
She's fine.
She's at home. She might
be a little disappointed,
but she's gonna...
She's gonna get through it. She survived
the wrath of your murderous dick.
Pew, pew, pew, pew, pew!
You did not kill her.
but she's gonna... She's gonna bounce back.
I don't think that's a healthy
way to talk about women.
And my theory is that
women have gotten stronger,
and as they get more self-sufficient,
you guys are getting more
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"Whitney Cummings: I'm Your Girlfriend" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 28 Mar. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/whitney_cummings:_i'm_your_girlfriend_23410>.
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