Whitney Cummings: I'm Your Girlfriend Page #2

Synopsis: Whitney Cummings becomes every guy's girlfriend and riffs on men, women, guys, girls, male/female roles, the male body, the female body, vaginas, dicks, birth control, squirting and selfies.
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Marty Callner
 
IMDB:
6.1
TV-MA
Year:
2016
70 min
217 Views


we should agree on a definition of

bad that works for both of us, okay?

I'm a comedian, my taste

is a little bit off.

If I was really gonna double down

on the bad girl game, I'd be like,

"Yeah, I'm a bad girl, I have

herpes and I didn't tell you, yeah."

- Man:
No!

- "No"?

"It's not... That's not an

aphrodisiac, okay, right.

We'll circle back, I'll work on that."

Guys like girls to be babies,

guys like girls to be bad,

and guys like girls to be exotic.

Guys are into exotic girls now.

I know this because a girlfriend of mine

set me up on a blind date with this guy,

then she called me and rescinded the date.

She was like, "Yeah,

it's not gonna work out.

I found out he's only into Cuban girls."

I was like, "All right, I

can put on some self-tanner,

and drink out of a f***ing

coconut. What do you want?"

And she was like, "No, it's

not about the skin color.

"He's not into Brazilian girls, he's

not into Spanish, it's just Cuban."

And I was trying to figure out like, what is

the fetish of the island of Cuba? Just Cuba.

The only thing I could deduce is that

Cuban girls must be super fun to date

'cause they're super easy to impress

'cause they've never had

American products before.

So, he's like, "I got you a Coca-Cola."

She's like, "Oh my God,

he's a millionaire!"

Yeah, you guys have to read

the news to get that one.

I think it's gonna be harder

and harder for you guys

to find these kind of

weak, submissive women.

'Cause women aren't like that

anymore. Women are badasses now.

All my girlfriends are strong,

self-sufficient, have awesome jobs, you know?

And I... Here's the thing.

I think feminism is working,

but I don't know if you guys like it.

I think you guys are mad at us about it,

and it's coming out in nefarious ways.

Like, the way guys talk about

women has gotten more aggressive.

The way guys talk about having sex

with women has gotten super violent.

I was talking to a guy friend

of mine a couple weeks ago,

and he goes,

"I hooked up with this

girl the other night.

Destroyed that sh*t."

It's like, "Excuse me?"

He goes, "Yeah, dude, I

murdered that sh*t, bro."

It's like, first of all,

you did not murder her.

She's fine.

She's at home. She might

be a little disappointed,

but she's gonna...

She's gonna get through it. She survived

the wrath of your murderous dick.

Pew, pew, pew, pew, pew!

You did not kill her.

You might have given her

a urinary tract infection,

but she's gonna... She's gonna bounce back.

I don't think that's a healthy

way to talk about women.

And my theory is that

women have gotten stronger,

and as they get more self-sufficient,

you guys are getting more

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Whitney Cummings

Whitney Ann Cummings (born September 4, 1982) is an American comedian, actress and producer. She is best known as the creator of the CBS sitcom 2 Broke Girls (2011–2017) and the NBC sitcom Whitney (2011–2013), appearing in the lead role of the latter. Since 2018, Cummings has been a producer and writer for the ABC revival of Roseanne. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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