White Van Man Page #4

Season #2 Episode #12
Synopsis: Ollie is a helpless handyman who is somewhat hindered by his lazy, freeloading right-hand-man Darren. This series follows their hilarious capers as the pair leave a trail of destruction after every job.
 
IMDB:
6.8
Year:
2010
30 min
350 Views


(Angry now)

Why him, Darren? You could have

worked in a shop? A pub?

DARREN:

I’m banned from everywhere but The

Oak.

OLLIE:

Doesn’t this mean anything to you?

You and I? This is just nothing, is

it?

DARREN:

I needed the money to pay off my

credit card debts.

Beat of silence. OLLIE shifting between anger and

disappointment.

OLLIE:

Did he pay you cash in hand?

DARREN:

(A little defensive)

Yeah. He did.

OLLIE:

Fine. That’s pretty standard

practice anyway.

Beat.

OLLIE (CONT’D)

Just tell me this. Was it a one

off... or are you going to work with

him again?

Silence from DARREN.

OLLIE (CONT’D)

Darren. I need to know.

DARREN:

(Sighs - honest)

Tonight. We’re working again,

tonight.

With that, ANDRZEJ pulls himself up to look over the fence

(it’s slightly too tall for him).

'WHITE VAN MAN 2' Episode 2 Blue Script 07/10/11 12

ANDRZEJ:

Hello sweet cheeks.

Seeing him, OLLIE’s face falls, furious. ANDRZEJ drops back

down, unable to hold himself up.

OLLIE:

That’s it.

(Beat)

Him or me. What’s it to be Darren?

Him or me?

ANDRZEJ:

Ooh, now you’ve done it, Mr Boyband.

DARREN:

(Trying to laugh it off)

Come on man, we can work this out.

OLLIE:

No, we can’t. I’m drawing a line.

Call it the fence if you like. Pick

where you want to be. This side or

that.

DARREN:

(Almost pitying him)

Don’t make me do this, Ollie...

OLLIE:

Too late. You made your bed, you pay

for it.

DARREN:

Well that metaphor’s wrong...

OLLIE:

(Losing it)

Pick a side of the fence!

Silence. DARREN looks at OLLIE and SIGHS.

DARREN:

Fine.

He throws his BAG over the FENCE. ANDRZEJ yelps in pain.

DARREN (CONT’D)

Just remember, this was your

decision.

And with that DARREN attempts to climb the FENCE into the

other garden... but it’s just a little too high.

DARREN (CONT’D)

(Struggling)

Nhhhhhhh.

'WHITE VAN MAN 2' Episode 2 Blue Script 07/10/11 13

After a moment of trying to get over, DARREN slips and

falls to the floor. He instantly shoots back to his feet.

DARREN (CONT’D)

(Nonchalant)

That’s err - I’m gonna use the gate.

He storms off but pauses.

DARREN (CONT’D)

(A sad calmness)

Just tell your Dad I’m sorry, okay.

OLLIE:

Darren... I... We were going to get

a second van.

DARREN:

(Stops but doesn’t look

back)

I know...

And with that, he’s gone leaving OLLIE in the garden,

alone.

Silence. Then

ANDRZEJ (OOV)

Poor Mr Boyband.

OLLIE:

Shut up Andrzej.

In anger OLLIE kicks the fence. On the other side, still

laughing, ANDRZEJ makes his way to the house as DARREN is

coming out the BACKDOOR. ANDRZEJ slaps him on the shoulder.

ANDRZEJ:

Welcome to the family Darren.

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Adrian Poynton

Adrian Poynton (born 29 January 1979) is a British screenwriter, playwright, stand up comedian and occasional actor. He is best known as the creator and writer of BBC Three sitcom White Van Man and its American remake Family Tools. more…

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