White Bird in a Blizzard Page #2

she had nothing left to do but plan

the emptiness of days to come.

And gradually,

the beautiful woman she once was

became no more than a phantom,

wandering away in a snowstorm.

- Hello, sweetheart. What's for dinner?

- Meatloaf.

Yum. Your meatloaf is the cat's meow.

So anyway, do you remember that

ticket I bought at the office raffle?

- Not really.

- Well, guess what? I won.

- It's a crock pot.

- We don't need a crock pot.

What are you talking about? These are

the latest thing. Everyone's getting one.

You can make, stews, pot roast, chilli.

Well, I don't have time to fuss

with it now. I have to finish dinner.

Just put it out of the way.

Over there, on top of the fridge.

He was her doormat. She treated

him like sh*t and he let her.

So imagine my shock when I

visited my father at work one day

and discovered he had game.

Every woman there was into him.

Flirting with him, batting their eyelashes.

Good morning, Mr. Connors.

And who is this pretty young lady?

Good morning, Mindy.

This is Kat, the new receptionist.

I was stunned. These women

actually thought my dad was hot.

But to my mother,

he would always be pathetic.

A constant reminder of the unbearable

repetition and dullness of her life.

My parents' marriage was like a long

drink of water from a frozen fountain.

So cold it turns your teeth to diamonds.

It was hardly a surprise to

learn their sex life sucked.

Meanwhile,

my father had his

own drawer of secrets.

So they just went on like that.

My mom never coming, my dad

jacking off in the basement,

all the while pretending

everything was fine.

That we were the perfect family

living this perfect f***ing life.

Pass the butter.

Thank you.

There were times when I

thought she was going mad,

that she was going to suffocate

my father one night with a pillow,

that she was going to burn

the f***ing house down.

But instead, she vanished.

How does that make you feel?

I don't know.

You don't know?

Do you miss her?

No. Not really.

My dad made me see a shrink because he

thought I needed to process my feelings

about my mother leaving. Thing is,

I didn't have any feelings.

Dr. Thaler reminds me of an

actress playing a therapist.

And when we have a session,

I feel like an actress playing myself.

I act... I have been having

kind of weird dreams lately.

A bad actress. Doing a shitty job.

Like, I'm... I'm driving

through this gnarly snow storm

and I can't see anything,

I mean, there's snow everywhere.

And then out of nowhere,

this figure appears.

I can't, like, make it out

in any detail or anything,

but I just somehow know

that it's my mother.

And I try to swerve, but I can

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