Whipped Page #2
A box worth.
Three times?
You know I only buy twelve-packs.
-Not exactly perfect.
The next morning,
they stole my TV.
-They what?
-They f***ing stole my set.
Do you think that was
their intention from the start?
-Definitely.
-Im sure of it.
I bet they double team
so they can carry out more sh*t.
Its an ingenious operation,
Don't you feel like they f***ed you,
they got the better of you?
They f***ed me all right,
in a way Ill never forget.
It was worth a TV. They come back,
Ill throw them the toaster.
This is some f***ed up sh*t.
Both you guys are crazy.
That's 'cause nothing
ever happens to you.
Yeah, what, did you score?
Or did you spend another
weekend tugging root?
F*** you, man. I had multiple
ladies on my tip.
Multiple, my ass.
Better your ass than Brad's.
Funny.
I was at Strokes
with my five knucklehead friends.
There were seven fine honeys
at my disposal.
Place was so ripe, I had my pick.
Always talking a big game.
No, seriously, they were all
sitting there waiting.
All I had to do was
go in for the kill.
So?
So I did.
Her name...
was Keri.
The flyest girl at the bar.
Dude, you got to stop
whacking it so much.
What?
Making up chick's names
while you're feeding the geese.
F*** you.
She's as real as the
scrambled eggs on that plate.
Last week her name was Nivea,
the week before it was Neutrogena.
Nivea was a nice French girl
I met in the park.
F*** that. If you didn't score,
just say it.
You don't believe me,
I don't give a sh*t.
Say it.
All I want to know is,
-A prospect?
-For what?
You know, the plan.
The triple team some chick plan.
-You still caught up in that sh*t?
-It'll be f***ing great.
The three of us and some hottie,
doing high-fives over her back.
F*** the plan.
I'm just trying to find
What?
-Some girl I actually respect.
-Why can't we find girls like us?
Dude, all girls masturbate.
F*** you. That's not what I meant.
Why are you always...?
Im kidding. I understand
what you're saying.
It'd be cool to find a hot chick
that also cared about
the same sh*t we do.
want to kick out of bed
-right after you throw your web.
-I hear you.
-Is that too much to ask?
-Good f***ing luck.
What?
Oh, no.
-Who the hell invited him?
-I did. He used to be one of us.
Exactly, he used to be.
Then the a**hole got married.
When you pass the ring,
you lose the sting.
You might as well chop
your dick off at the altar.
-Hi.
-Hey, Eric. Have a seat.
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"Whipped" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 18 Apr. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/whipped_23359>.
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