Where the Buffalo Roam Page #2

Well, I can give you a cheque.

I know, but...

Well, you know where you can find me.

He's a weirdo, Lazlo.

Lazlo, how are you doing?

Never better.

You know, I really admire you.

- Really?

- Yeah. But you could do a lot better.

- No sh*t.

- You're strong, you're tough,

you're good, the clients like you.

But it's the wrong rules,

and you're playing the wrong game.

Let me send you some real clients -

divorce, real estate.

That's business, Lazlo.

You can do the cases,

we'll split it down the middle.

We'll make a deal, we'll make money.

- The guy said...

- Money?

...that it wasn't so bad to make money.

- Remember that.

- You mean I'd...

make some money and maybe be like your

field representative, handle the overflow?

You're not making any money representing

these jack-offs, and you know it.

- Jack-offs?

- Now you've done it.

You call the people I defend jack-offs?

- Hear ye, hear ye, everybody!

- Calm down!

Look at a man who defends evil people!

Will you guys just knock it off?

Lazlo, God damn it, get down.

Repent! There's still time!

Bless you, Jesus. Thank you, Jesus.

We hear you, Jesus.

Whosoever's name is not written in the book

of life shall be cast into a lake of fire!

Amen! Amen!

- Mr Lazlo.

- Hey, Lazlo.

Hey, Lazlo!

OK, OK, settle down, settle down.

OK, 223 Coal Street, where are you?

We're gonna go inside and make a motion

to suppress the search and seizure.

We're gonna say the cops

didn't have probable cause.

Got it? OK. Livingstone.

You got your old lady?

Good. Billy, we're gonna

get to you this afternoon.

OK, now.

I want you to remember one thing.

Once we get inside, no grab-ass.

No fooling around, no yelling, no booing,

none of that stuff.

Just keep cool and let's do it.

- OK? Come on.

- All right.

...on behalf of the coming defence...

...sheer domestic tranquillity...

Would you be

interested in donating blood, sir?

Donate? My blood?

As a matter of fact, I'm here to pick up

some blood. Hope you're my type of girl.

Roll up your sleeve.

This'll prick for just a second.

I'm a doctor, I'm a doctor.

Jesus, I missed. Sorry.

You're moving now,

you gotta hold still.

- Here we go. That's a beautiful colour.

- No!

You got a lot of it too. All right!

All right.

OK, hold on, hold on.

All right.

I'm a little cowgirl.

Kiss and make better.

Yeah, all right.

You should do that all the time.

Several times a month, at least.

Lazlo, Lazlo, Lazlo.

The whole calendar is Lazlo. Will I ever get

to ply my trade against anyone else?

Yeah, a**hole,

when you stop busting kids.

Remember thou, keep holy the Lord's day.

Honour thy father and mother.

Thou shalt not kill.

Thou shalt not commit adultery.

Rate this script:4.5 / 2 votes