What We Did on Our Holiday Page #4

Forgotten the way to Scotland then?

So, Mickey, belated birthday present.

I expect you can guess what it is.

Is it a bicycle?

Is it a... joke cushion that

stabs you in the bottom?

- No, it is not.

- Is it a cow pie?

Granddad!

- Happy birthday!

- Hello, darling.

Hey, Dad.

- Gordie.

- Hello.

- Happy birthday.

- Thanks very much.

- How's things, Dad?

- Fine, fine, good.

And how's things with you?

- Fine.

- Brilliant, brilliant.

I mean, super. More than.

- Brilliant, tremendous.

- It is more fun actually. Fun.

- Yeah.

- Isn't it? Yeah.

- Really, really, really good.

- Right.

- I did you a birthday card, Granddad.

- Oh, thanks, Lottie.

She's got something of your mother.

- Can he not play with that?

- Oh, Mickey!

Sorry, I just wanted to show Granddad

the badger in the revolving doors

and the nun with two heads.

Nobody wants to see

a nun with two heads.

- I do.

- That computer's not for kids.

All the terminals are connected.

It's a...

- Synergised system.

- That's right.

You know, the whole house

is virtually wireless.

It's, well, more than an iCloud, it's...

iFog?

It's an intelligent house.

Is it as intelligent

as a squid?

- As a squid?

- Cos it can fit through a hole.

It's intelligent in a way...

- Can it draw a leopard?

- What?

And can it do cartwheels?

If this house is more intelligent

than you...

- Mickey.

- This system cost a lot of money.

Well, it doesn't always mean

it's intelligent if...

- It cost loads of money.

- Yeah.

You're not explaining it at all well.

I think we should take you to

the headmaster of your place

- because...

- It's an intelligent house, OK?

You know, it's connected.

Let there be light.

Now then, clan of McLeod,

if you'll excuse me...

Hmm.

Where are the keys?

They were there a moment ago.

Who could have taken them?

I don't know.

Magpies?

Magpies?

This is my domain.

Only special people come here.

After you, my dear.

Ta-dah!

Jess? This is insane!

I only asked you where the keys were.

Jessie, Jessie, just breathe,

take a big, big breath.

A big, deep breath.

- She holds her breath?

- Yeah.

Ah, well.

She can't do herself too much harm, eh?

Well, actually...

Till she blacks out? Unconscious?

That's quite extreme, isn't it?

To hold your breath that long.

Well, she can always become

a pearl diver.

Where's Sir Donald gone?

Have you noticed anything odd

about Doug and Abi?

Hey, what have you done to that helmet?

I took the horns off it.

London manners. Eh?

Doug can't control them.

And as for her...

That's what happens when

you marry someone too clever.

That's me when I was 20.

Only my skin was a little less orange.

Is that you with the monkey?

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