What We Did on Our Holiday Page #3

Just wait there, kids.

I like being sick,

it's like being a fountain.

- I was sickest most.

- No, I was.

Thanks for stopping for the night.

I just want to get there

as soon as possible.

- No, I know.

- His T-shirt.

His T-shirt was full of vomit

because of me.

Listen, Doug...

It's a draw. You both

produced an equal amount of sick.

But I still won.

Er... why are we putting ourselves

through all this?

Maybe we should just

tell your dad the truth.

No, no, it's too big a risk.

It could really upset him,

the idea of us splitting.

Please, Abi.

He can't have long, let's just...

Let's just let him have his party.

Oh, Jesus Christ. No, no, no.

Lottie, no one's gonna ask you if

Mum and me are living in the same house.

Is there anything else

you've not told me?

No.

- Why are you writing that down?

- So you can't say you didn't say it.

OK. Kids, just to remind...

Mickey, stop playing chip Jenga.

Just to remind everyone, what we're

saying is, when we get to Scotland,

nobody is to tell anyone that Mum and me

are living in different houses, OK?

Can we tell them that you walked in

while the headmistress was doing a poo?

It's not really...

Can we tell them about tadpoles

turning into frogs?

Absolutely. I think that'd be

an excellent conversation.

That's a much better

topic of conversation.

So as long as we're all agreed,

none of us mention anything about this.

I wasn't gonna mention it anyway.

It's boring.

- Exactly.

- It's lying.

It's... It's not lying, it's not.

It's not...

It's not mentioning something.

What if someone asks,

"Are your mum and dad getting divorced?"

You're visiting your granddad,

not going on The Jeremy Kyle Show.

I hope we get another sunset

tonight. Last night was fantastic.

It's the volcanic dust in the air

refracting the low-level sunlight.

Really?

I thought it was those new pills

the doctor's got me on.

Must give you

a couple of packets of the blue ones.

You can take them to school, sell them

to your friends, make a tidy wee profit.

Play something.

Nah, nah, nah.

Play the proper stuff.

You know you like it.

And you've got to cut loose, Kenny.

Go mental.

Dad says I need to concentrate

on my exam pieces.

In 50 metres, turn right.

Right.

Oh, Jesus.

Why didn't you wake me?

- You said it was rude.

- Not while I'm driving.

What's happening?

Daddy didn't like me

driving when he was asleep.

- What? You were asleep?

- Is this Scotland?

Do you mean you actually fell asleep?

Not really.

- Yeah, these are the Highlands.

- How high are the Highlands?

- Were you sleeping?

- High. Higher than the Lowlands.

Did you fall asleep?

Puppies!

Rate this script:5.0 / 1 vote