What's Your Number? Page #2

that she was dating Eddie,

I couldn't believe it.

[GUESTS]:
Aw!

I said, "Eddie Vogel?"

"The schmuck you went out with

in high school?"

"He was the biggest douche-bag

of them all".

(CHUCKLES)

Even worse than Baby Hands.

You guys remember him?

Baby Hands.

You know how Eddie broke up with her?

He started dating her best friend,

who's here tonight, by the way.

Sheila, stand up.

(SIGHS)

But...

But

when Eddie saw Daisy

at their high school reunion,

he knew what a big mistake he had made.

No offense, Sheila.

And now, Eddie's amazing.

You wouldn't even know

he's the same guy.

Except he looks exactly the same.

(LAUGHING)

God! I wish I went

to my high school reunion,

but I was growing out my bangs.

I'm always growing out my bangs.

Don't get bangs.

Well, to Daisy and Eddie!

(GUESTS GASP)

It's okay. It's okay.

(GUESTS CHATTING)

[SHEILA]:
Okay, to Daisy and Eddie

and the end of your life.

To Daisy and Eddie.

- [ALL]:
To Daisy and Eddie.

- To me.

Okay, it's party game time!

- Oh, a game? Really?

- Absolutely!

But which one?

God, what to play? What to play?

Ooh! Let's write down

the number of people we slept with.

- Great idea, Katie.

- What?

Okay, we just need paper

and more drinks. Be right back.

Of all the gin joints in all the towns.

Of all the clichs in all the world.

Wow. I didn't know you were

gonna take getting fired so hard.

I don't have to laugh at your jokes anymore

because you're not my boss.

Let me buy you these drinks.

I feel really bad about today.

Really?

Thanks. I can't afford them anyway.

Can I be honest with you?

You never seemed

to like marketing anyhow.

I liked it.

Yeah, but you didn't love it.

I guess I did you a favor.

Now you can go get a job that you love

with a boss who you, uh, like.

I like you.

Really? How much?

(LAUGHS)

She bought the whole bottle, didn't she?

[ALLY]:
Okay, so just write down

the number of guys you've slept with

and put it in this glass,

and then we'll pick out the number

and guess who it belongs to.

Daisy, you go first.

Yeah.

Four.

- Oh! That's me.

- Yay!

No, no, no, that's not how

you're supposed to play the game.

We're supposed to guess.

Who wasn't gonna guess Katie?

She married Matt when she was, like, 12.

- I'm surprised you've had that many.

- Well...

[ALLY]:
Katie, your turn,

let's go.

Eight. Eight... Daisy.

Yes, and I am twice the woman you are.

Six.

- Jamie?

- Yep, that's me.

Wait a second, you're a seven.

- I never had sex with Lars.

- Yes, you did.

No. He only stuck it in just a little,

so it doesn't count.

- How much was it in?

- This much.

What is that? That tells me nothing.

I've no idea how big Lars' penis is.

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