Wet Hot American Summer Page #10
All right, I'll put him last.
Good.
Oh, she always wins!
Don't pick it up, stupid!
Stop picking it up!
You see? this is us,
and we're traveling
around the sun.
That's a 1.3 million mile trip
every year!
Radical.
You might say that
each and every one of us...
is a crew member here
on spaceship earth.
- When would we say that?
- Any time.
Dinner. Literally any time.
You're amazing. I hope I can come to your
college and you can be my professor.
Actually, I, uh...
I'm just an associate professor.
- What does that mean?
- Melvyn!
No, no, it's all right.
it means, Melvyn...
It means that I'm...
less than.
Oh, God!
Hey! What's goin' on?
Hey, Beth. We're just
having ourselves a little cry.
I know what
this group needs.
How 'bout we grab some lunch and
watch the "capture the flag" game?
- What do you say?
- I think we'll take a rain check, Beth.
- We're in the middle of some pretty
interesting stuff. - I'll make you a deal.
You come watch the "capture the
flag game" with the normal kids,
and then you can have the whole rest
of the day to learn about planets, stars,
pulsars, heliocentricity,
gravitational collapse...
and the science
of celestial mechanics...
the 19th century scientists...
Alexis Clairaut, Jean d'Alembert
and Pierre Laplace.
- Okay? Ready?
- Okay!
Break!
Gee, I was really impressed by some
of the stuff you said back there.
- Oh, it was... - No, Beth, you
know what you're talking about.
I don't know where you find the
time to learn about astrophysics.
I mean, with camp payroll
and insurance to deal with.
Keeping parents happy,
supervising a young staff.
- Wow.
It was in 1908 that the first
American summer camps
were founded in the Catskills.
- Is there any more corn?
- What?
- More corn.
- Oh, dude.
- You got...
- What, dude?
What? What are you doing
with your hand?
On your face. You, uh...
Cat got your tongue, Andy?
What is it?
You have barbecue sauce
all over your face.
- I know that. So?
- It's pretty foul.
It's just barbecue sauce.
Come on. I wanna make out.
Okay, but not here.
What's it like being a professor?
- What do they say, "publish or perish"?
- Well, perish mostly.
I'm up for tenure
this fall.
If I don't make my mark soon,
I could end up out of work.
But you're so talented!
Tell that to my dean.
Okay. Okay, what's his address?
You serious?
56 Linden Lane.
- Okay. City?
- God, you're really... Augusta.
- State? - I can't believe...
well, Maine, of course.
- ZIP?
- This is... 04139.
- Does he have an apartment number?
- No!
Beth, this is incredible. I don't
know how to thank you.
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"Wet Hot American Summer" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 28 Mar. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/wet_hot_american_summer_23253>.
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