West Is West Page #3

he knows you're here.

F*** off.

Just make sure you're not down there

of a night-time by yourself.

- Why?

- Djinns can possess you.

- You see anybody, just look at his feet.

- Why?

'Cause a djinns feet

will be on backwards.

Night-night!

- What are you doing now?

- Checking for elephant balls.

Oi! Come. Eat breakfast.

It's paratha. Good for you. Eat.

She made tea too sweet for her.

She always bloody doing it.

Everything okay? Home? Everybody happy?

Probably are, now my dad isn't there.

Hey, you be no cheeky, huh?

I hear what you up to in England.

I go be keeping very close eye on you.

I not take bloody any trouble from you.

F*** off, you fat twat.

Hey! Come here!

I'll tell your father

about this, man!

Why you wearing that?

- 'Cause I want to.

- Well, take it off.

You said it were for Pakistan.

I no bloody mean now.

It's too hot wearing this thing.

Where are the Pakistani clothes

I gave you?

I'm not wearing them.

Why not? You looking smart like us?

I've already told you

what you look like.

- Go put on.

- No.

- Go, baster, put on!

- No.

I warn you, mister...

Go.

All this, mine.

Here, all the way back to village.

Uh, except that bit there on the right.

- Is mine from my father.

- Not much, eh?

- All family work together, see?

- Yes, this is all for family.

All the time I send money.

Buy more land. All for family.

And I working all land.

All for family.

For future, you see.

Oh...

- Popular, isn't he?

- So was Hitler.

Grundig C 6000 Automatic.

Automatic VHF fine-tuning.

...compact tape recorder.

Automatic recording.

Short wave, medium wave, long wave.

- All waves.

- Always.

See? They're having a party.

Here.

Sajid? Come here.

Master-ji Eyaz.

Say, "Salam alaikum."

- Salam alaikum.

- Wa alaikum as-salam.

And this is Pir Naseem.

We've met.

Ah, yes, yes! We have met!

We have been waiting for your

father's return for a long time.

Your mummy, Basheera,

and your sisters are very happy.

She's not me mam.

- Like mum though, isn't it?

- It's not.

Is in Pakistan.

Me mam's me mam, Pakistan or Salford.

- Sajid.

- I have a brother in England.

He works in the mill, in Ramsbottom.

Do you know Ramsbottom?

Ramsbottom?

Is there such a place, Sajid?

I don't know.

And if there were, would you

freely admit to coming from it?

Your father wishes to entrust me with

your spiritual and academic education

- here in Pakistan.

- You what?

You're going to bloody school, isn't it?

You said it was a holiday!

- Baster, don't you start that with me.

- You can't make me.

I didn't want to come

to this f***ing dump in the first place!

I in charge here.

Your mum not here now.

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