Welcome to the South Page #2

Castellabate,

a charming locality near Naples.

- Terrific, isn't it?

- What?

- Terrific, isn't it?

- Before that.

- Charming locality?

- After that.

Near Naples.

Naples?

To get the position in Milan

I passed myself off as disabled.

You passed yourself off...

What a jack...

What a jackass!

I can't believe I married such a...

Jackass! You go down there alone!

Chicco, pajamas, to bed.

Jackass...

Mommy, I'm scared

of Chteau de l'Abb!

- ILLUSTRIOUS ACADEMY OF GORGONZOLA -

I proclaim Mr. Petazzoni illustrious

academician of gorgonzola P.D.O.!

Southern Italy is a very bad deal.

I know because when I was young,

my mother used to

screw a shitkicker.

That's the problem,

they're all shitkickers,

even the animals: cats, dogs,

cows, chickens, calves, all of them!

They only talk shitkick

and you can't understand a word.

When you think you understand,

you know they're f***ing with you,

they're nice to your face,

"hospitality",

but they're all in the Camorra.

- And what heat down there!

- It's hot?

Not in the winter,

but in summer it hits 40C.

So, you think it's cooler indoors,

but it's 50C there!

It's hotter inside than out?

Yeah, those sh*t houses

are made with asbestos.

- What's life like there?

- It's pretty tough.

The ones in the Camorra live well,

all the others are wretches.

Like they say,

"See Naples and then die."

A violent death, either of cholera,

or typhoid,

with all that trash around.

It's disgusting.

But I have a solution for the South:

just one huge parking lot.

Bon apptit.

I'm not hungry anymore.

Temperatures above 35C:

fever, shock, meningitis...

What's the temperature there?

What is it?

- What was it?

- Nothing.

How hot can it get?

I've got an extinguisher.

Good luck, Mr. Colombo.

I hope so.

Be a good boy, do what Mommy says.

- This is for you.

- What is it?

It's a rat trap,

so they don't bite your feet.

It's SPF 50 sunscreen,

use it especially...

You're wearing your watch?

- Maybe to take it they'd...

- You're right. What an idiot.

This too?

That's right.

Little guy.

Wear your little hat!

It's in your bag.

Will Daddy be back?

Yes,

very soon.

This is Alberto Colombo,

your new manager.

I've just left.

It's 7:
28 here, and there?

- 7:
28.

- Good.

- I should be there by dinner.

- Are you walkin'?

At Eboli take the coast road,

or you'll go "uppa" the

Salerno-Reggio Calabria.

Upper Calabria?

There must be some static.

I have a GPS navigator,

I'll see you this evening.

I'll be 'ere.

- What?

- I'll be 'ere.

Beer?

Look, I'll call you when I arrive.

- Hello, license and registration.

- Was I going too fast?

Too slow, you're blocking traffic.

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