We're Not Married! Page #2

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There's a woman out there named

Gryce who sued for divorce last week...

on the grounds of mental cruelty.

Her husband refused to pass the salt.

She had two eyewitnesses to the charge,

and so the divorce was granted.

- Gryce?

- It was a routine, open-and-shut case...

until it turned out there was no record that

they'd ever been married in the first place.

I seem to remember

that name from someplace.

All this in spite of the fact

that both parties swore in court...

that they had been married

at Gretna Green in this state...

by oneJustice of the Peace Bush.

Oh, I remember. That was the fellow

that gave me the 20 bucks.

Do you remember the date?

Not offhand.

But I got it right here.

I can look it up for you.

I know it was one of

the first couples that I married.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, here it is.

December 27.

Just a couple of days after Christmas.

What about it?

When did you marry

your first couple?

Well, that was the day

I got the appointment.

Christmas Eve.

How many couples did

you marry in that week...

between Christmas Eve

and December 31 ?

I don't know. Let's see. $96 worth.

It's pretty good, huh?

- Not how much. How many?

- Oh. Oh, uh...

let's see now--

one, two, three, four, five, six.

- Six couples.

- That's it.

- In one week, he laid six time bombs.

- How do you mean?

He jumped the gun.

The appointment was forJanuary 1 ...

and this clown began marrying people

before he had the authority.

Well, I got the letter

that said I was appointed...

and I thought it meant right then.

Didn't you even read the letter?

Well, not all of it.

One down and five to go.

- What can we do about it?

- Nothing.

Just sit here and wait

for them to blow up.

Bang, bang, bang, bang-- one after

the other all over the country...

until one day one of them

hits the newspapers.

And then it'll be the biggest scandal since

that mink coat got into the White House.

Well, can't we pass some kind of a law?

- What kind of a law?

- Why don't we just write and tell them?

- Write who?

- The couples.

- And tell them what?

- That they're not married. That's all.

-Just like that.

- Okay, if you want to dress it up a bit...

just say somebody gummed up

the works and it's a misdeal.

- And then what?

- And let them take it from there.

- What about that?

- Won't work.

- Why not?

- Too simple.

As a matter of fact, I think it's

pretty good. Let me have that book.

Anyway, it's better than sitting around

here with our fingers in our ears.

You can keep that book. I got it all

copied down in another book anyway.

Good luck to all of you.

We can scratch the Gryces, and we'll

have five left. So that's what we'll do.

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