Waking Up in Reno Page #3

as a riled-up bull

about that Beefy Nibby thing.

I didn't mean to put on

the wrong labels.

And I just feel plumb awful

about it, sir.

I need this job.

What if he fires me,

Mr. Kirkendall?

You ain't gonna get fired.

I promise you, okay?

Everybody makes mistakes.

I mean, hell, look at me.

Just ask my mama, okay?

[Laughs]

[Machinery whirring]

Good to see you, sweetie pie!

Lonnie Earl, that car's

runnin' great. Thanks.

Good deal, Fred.

Darlene...

you're lookin' beautiful,

as always.

DARLENE:

Thank you, Fred.

[Bell rings]

Roy...

you bumble-dick gourd head.

How about you, Fred?

Nice morning, ain't it?

Damn it, boy,

don't take that tone with me.

I will slap the taste

out of your mouth.

Do you even have any inkling

why you're here?

Well...

...no.

I have got 200 cases

of Ocean Delight

that are labeled

"Beef and Cheese Nibbies."

You tell me how the hell

somethin' like that happens.

Oh, no.

I am sorry.

It is my fault.

I got the cans mixed up,

and then Candy paged me,

and I had to... well...

[Telephone ringing]

I forgot.

But then why did you go ahead

and ship 'em?

We're talkin' about

cat lovers here, boy.

When the cat lover opens

the Beef and Cheese Nibbies,

he expects to find

Beef and Cheese Nibbies,

not a f***in' Ocean Delight!

Understood?

Yes, sir.

And just where in the hell

were you yesterday afternoon

- when all this was happenin'?

- He was at the house.

I needed him for something.

Oh?

Well, okay.

Why? What...

Wasn't nothin' wrong,

was there?

No.

You see... No, sir.

She's just checkin'

for when she's ovulatin'

because we know how much

you want that grandbaby,

so when she pages, I come.

[Steam hissing]

I mean... I go.

[Chuckles nervously]

Well, you know what I mean.

[Bell rings]

I don't even want to think

about that.

Just get the hell out of here.

LONNIE EARL:
I'm glad

we're finally on the road.

Here's to a big ol' time.

Look out, Reno.

We're gonna put some hair

on the wall.

[Siren wails]

Well, sh*t on a stick.

It's just Russell and Boyd.

We're gonna be out of here

in a heartbeat.

All right, sir...

[Both laugh]

Hey, Lonnie Earl!

I didn't know that was you.

How is everybody?

How about you, Russell...

Boyd?

Hi, Candy.

Ooh-ee, man.

This is one fine vehicle

you got here.

Has that got that dick massage?

No.

Don't you start with me.

Listen, we're in kind of

a hurry.

We're goin' out of town

on vacation.

Whereabouts you goin'?

Reno, Nevada.

Y'all goin' to that

Monster Truck Jam out there?

Check this son of a b*tch out.

Lucky sons of b*tches...

goin' to the biggest

little city in the world.

Of course, that is

if we get there in time.

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