Waking Ned Page #2

It's Mrs. Kennedy.

Oh, now,

I've got someone else.

- Well, speak up, man.

- Pig Finn.

Will you look at that...

there's 49 possible winners,

and we're down to 2 already.

Go away out of that.

We're in the bath!

Jackie, it's Finn.

Are you up for a pint?

I want to ask your

advice on something.

He's after advice

on his money.

Say you will.

Aye, I'm up for a pint.

I'm just out of me bath.

I'll see you at Fitzgerald's

in ten minutes.

Right.

Yeah, I know.

There's a terrible stink on him lately.

Evening, Jackie, Michael.

Boys.

Dennis,

have you seen Pig Finn?

His glass is there,

and himself is in the toilet.

Two pints for us,

and one for me old friend, Pig Finn.

Oh, and let me

buy him a packet...

of his favorite Mexican crisps

there, as well, Dennis.

Your old friend?

You must be needing an

operation on your nose, Jackie.

Have you smelled

the Pig lately?

I have, and it's not half

as bad as your aftershave.

Well, this aftershave is

a knockout with the girls.

And tell me, Pat,

which particular girls...

are you knocking out

at the moment?

Well, hello, Mrs. Kennedy.

Don't be afraid.

It's only myself.

I've been baking,

and Jackie had no room for this...

so I thought we'd

share it between us.

There's the man.

How are you, boys?

- How are you?

- I'm fine.

The old sparkle

in your eye, eh?

You're a devil, Jackie.

Jesus, Jackie, you must

have a terrible thirst tonight.

I've never seen a man drink

two pints at the same time.

Here. This is yours, Finn.

I've bought you a pint so.

- You're joking me.

- No.

You never bought me a pint.

Go away with you.

I brought you home many a night.

And I bought you a packet...

of your favorite Mexican crisps.

Aye, and no offense, now, Finn.

I bought you some

expensive fruity soaps.

Take them home

and try them out.

Mmm.

Ah, boys, what are you up to?

Nothin'.

Can I not buy you a pint?

Did you come into

some money, Jackie?

No. But you'd be the first

to share in it if I had, Finn.

Right.

Where have you been?

I've been in bed an hour.

Oh, shut up.

- You're drunk.

- I am not.

What's the news?

I spent ten pounds

on Finn...

and all he wanted was

advice on his sick pig.

- Is the sports car his?

- Not at all.

He's lookin' after it

for his brother.

Then I spent another

forty on the locals...

in case the winner was

hidden among them.

You're actin' like you

won the lotto yourself.

Aye, yeah.

Rockefeller, that's me.

I followed me nose

to Mrs. Kennedy's.

I took a meat pie

to soften her up.

Go on.

Found her on her own

drinkin' champagne.

- It's her, then.

- Hold on.

No sooner was my

meat pie in her belly...

than she tells me that

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