Wake Up, Ron Burgundy: The Lost Movie Page #2

Konnichiwa.

- Cannonball!

- Champ:
Hey, everyone!

Orgy!

Sorry, I misread the vibe.

Just go back

to what you were doing.

Narrator:
But even in the midst

of this supposed bliss,

trouble can step forward and say,

''Hey! Don't forget about me.''

Everybody get down!

This is a robbery!

We are The Alarm Clock!

- It all begins today!

- Heroes get blasted!

Shoot, I'm havin' a good time!

This is a party! Come on!

It's a revolutionary

sure shot.

We're taking it all back.

Y'all better wake up,

'cause The Alarm Clock's ringin'.

Ding-a-ling-a-ding-ding-dong!

You've got a real reason

to be afraid!

Hurry up!

We are liberating this money

so that the truth can be set free,

and the people of this city

can wake up! Dig it!

We are The Alarm Clock!

Oh, that was one crazy party.

I feel awful.

I had about 70 beers.

I mean, literally.

I ate a whole bunch

of fiberglass insulation.

It wasn't cotton candy

like that guy said.

My stomach's itchy.

I woke up this morning,

and I sh*t a squirrel.

The hell of it is,

the thing was still alive.

So now I got

this sh*t-covered squirrel

down there in my office,

don't know what to name it.

You should name him Shawn.

Garth:
All right, guys,

let's focus up.

Morning, everyone.

Here are the stories

we're gonna be chasing today.

The radical protest group

called The Alarm Clock

robbed their third bank

this morning.

Let's keep on top of this story.

If it gets any bigger,

the network

could need coverage.

Narrator:
Veronica had gone straight

from the airport to the newsroom...

- Hello.

- and Ron's heart nearly leapt

out of his chest when he saw

his sweet, sweet lady.

Oh, Ron,

you are a big deal.

Take me. Take me right now

on this conference table.

It's jazz. It's jazz, baby!

Ron, control yourself!

Not-not with the lights on!

Ron:

Let's make a baby!

Veronica:

This feels sexy!

Ron:

I am engorged!

He's like

an unleashed animal, run!

Put it back in!

No, no, he didn't mean that!

Take it out!

- Look at this.

- Brad:
Yeah.

Must be 20 Gs here,

plenty of money

to start the revolution.

We got enough bread

to arm the people, feed the people,

get people riotous

in the streets.

Know what we should

do with this money?

I think we should buy

a big bag of grass.

What about the revolution?

Our mission...

is clearly stated

in the manifesto.

Where the hell is

that manifesto, man?

I am writing the manifesto.

I'm beginning to start

to think you just here for the --.

You wanna know

what our cause is?

Yeah, we wanna know.

Narrator:

The group was at a crucial juncture.

For months, Paul had put off

writing the manifesto

by smoking skunkweed

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