Waiting For Guffman Page #3

way... far away.

I'll tell you another thing.

Once you step inside

this circle,

The weather never changes.

It is always 67 degrees

with a 40% chance of rain.

Always.

L... i love

to make people laugh,

and i've been doing it

since...

you know, school.

People ask me,

"were you a..."

you know, "you must have been

the class clown."

And i say, uh,

"no, i wasrt."

But i sat beside

the class clown,

and I... i studied him,

and, uh, and saw

how he made people laugh.

And so i picked some things up,

and, uh, you know,

and at parties

and family functions,

i have to say, i love,

you know, breaking people up.

So, there's a thing

that i think i got...

a... a... an entertaining bug

from my grandfather, uh,

chaim progot

who was very, very big

in the yiddish theater

back in new york.

He was in the... the very...

the sardonically irreverent

I said more ham.

And that revue,

i believe, was 1914,

and that revue

is what made him famous.

Incidentally, the song

bubbee made a kishke

came from that revue.

My... my father, bless him,

brought me

into... into the business.

This was his dental practice,

uh, before,

and i joke with my wife

that, uh, you know,

at that point,

that's when the, uh,

the money

started rolling in.

You know.

Brave making m-more wampum

to buy pelts.

One happy squaw in wigwam.

Happy as mongoose.

That, uh...

is, of course,

from johnny carson who, uh...

one of my heroes

in a very funny bit.

When i see lips

waiting to be kissed

I can't stop

I can't stop

For that lightning,

oh, it's striking

Again

Yeah

Lightning's striking

Again and

again and again and

I'm going to do a scene

from the movieraging bull.

You f***ed my wife?

What?

You f***ed my wife?

How can you ask me

a question like that?

How can you ask me?

I'm your brother

and you ask me that?

Where do you get the balls

big enough to ask me that?

Basically for

the last 15 years,

i have been

the music teacher

at blaine high,

um, and part of my job,

and a very

important part

is to put on a show

every year,

which i have done

completely by myself.

This year it's going

to be different

because corky,

being from new york,

being a professional

and having put on some very

theatrical productions here,

uh, is going to be

directing the show this year

and i'm going to be

the musical director,

which is different for me.

Teacher's pet

I wanna be teacher's pet

I want to be

huddled and cuddled

And close to you

as i can get

Teacher's pride

I wanna be teacher's pride

Dr. Pearl! How are you?

Ron albertson.

Yes, ron.

My wife sheila.

You remember her

from previous bills.

Hello, sheila.

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