W.C. Fields: 6 Short Films Page #2

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Thank you.

Oh, I just love it out here.

- So nice and green and everything. | - Yes, it is.

Rather "park-y" | this morning, though.

I have never been on such a crowded | golf course in all my life.

You little sissy.

Did you bring | a ball with you?

Wonderful.

Now, stand clear, | and keep your eye on the ball.

- Everything is form. | - Mm-hmm.

This is what they call | the "explosion shot" from the tee.

- It won't hurt you. | It won't hurt you at all.

- Oh. | - Stand clear, boy.

Wrong club.

- What? | - Wrong club. Try this putting niblick.

A "putting niblick"?

Really, the little chap doesn't | understand the nomenclature of the game.

Now, stand clear, boy, | and keep your eye on the ball.

No, I have it.

Stan...

It's all right. | Come here.

Stand back here. He gets | all hot and bothered about nothing.

I lost a very dear friend | in the Canary Islands many years...

What are you doing | with a club like this in the bag?

Don't play | with these clubs.

I lost a very dear friend in | the Canary Islands many years ago.

- How dreadful! | - Chap by the name of Pumphrey Pothelwhistle.

- Oh-ho, what a funny name. - Ah, he's | one of the Pothelwhistles from Twickenham.

If you've ever been | to Twicken...

Stop that, will you?

Fore!

- Whoo! Quite a driver! | - Yes, he is.

Yes. | Yes, he is.

Mm.

Hmm. Yeah.

Yes, we lost old Pothelwhistle in the | Canary Islands. He was kicked to death.

- Oh, that's a shame! | - Yes, kicked to death by two infuriated canary birds.

- Oh, why is that? | - Someone had been feeding them meat.

I happ... | Excuse me. I...

- Anything strange about this, love? | - It does look rather odd.

Yes. I think the shaft is warped. | Give me another bat.

Ha-ha, that's better!

- That's much better. | - Yes.

- Now, stand clear, boy, and | keep your eye on the ball.

This is what they call "hitting past | the chin," as I told you before.

Gives you a remarkable shot.

What have you got here, | after all?

A pie!

Fancy bringing a pie | to a golf course.

A pint, yes.

But a pie, never.

Why, it's like, uh...

It's like carrying...

carrying, uh...

something or other...

somewhere or other,

as the case may be.

Now, you stand clear | and keep your eye on this ball.

Stand clear, boy. | Keep your eye on the ball.

Stand cl...

- Quite a breeze. | - Yes, it is quite a breeze.

Yes, there is. | Quite a breeze. Yes.

Here's your overcoat.

Now, stand clear, boy, | and keep your eye on the ball.

- As I say, this is | "hitting past the chin. "

Yes.

- Hitting as far past the | chin as possible. - Mm-hmm.

Never stand close to the ball | after you hit it.

- Sounds like one of those birds | that fly backwards.

- Stand clear, boy. | Keep your eye on the ball.

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