Virginia Page #2

still available.

Of course, the top news

is that our governor,

and now presumptive

presidential nominee,

has announced

his newest campaign tour dates,

including a stop right here on Labour Day.

His dinner will be a barbecue

at the home of our very own

Sheriff Richard Tipton,

who is knee-deep in his own run

for State Legislature.

Do you like this one?

That should be fine.

Look at this.

Do you think she looks pretty in yellow?

Yes. She's beautiful in that one.

Hey, Dad, you got some mail.

You see, I was born

with dangling earlobes.

And according to my biology teacher,

unless you went to public school

in South Carolina,

you'd know my mom's ears

and the sheriff's ears

never could've made mine.

So using genetics,

for the first time

since I was eight years old

I knew for certain

who my father wasn't.

Do you believe in God?

Or are you an atheist, sinning scientist?

I don't know.

Well, it's either one or the other, Em.

I got your letter.

Meet me, 1:
00 p.m.

Do you think we come from apes?

Do you?

Some people say we do,

but you can't count so much

on science anymore, you know.

Who do you think your dad is?

Could be anybody.

Anybody with hanging earlobes.

When I got your letter...

...I prayed about it.

You can't do that.

Why? There's no reason why not now.

I want a temple wedding first.

You have to be a priesthood holder

in good standing in my church

to give me that.

And you just don't have it in you.

Jessie...

you really think God's still listenin'

to your daddy's prayers?

Seems like there was

always something.

Now it was just like

her dad told my mom a million times.

Christians should only do it

with Christians.

Mormon or any other kind.

Virginia,

I need all my drivers.

If you can't come in,

I'm gonna have to let you go.

Probably a goddamn blessin'.

That job didn't pay crap.

I'll get a new job in a week

when I feel right.

You ready?

I'm sorry, Emmett.

Serious.

It's fine.

"I've just returned from a visit

to my landlord,

"the solitary neighbour

that I shall be troubled with.

"This is certainly a beautiful country.

"In all England, I do not believe

I could've fixed the situation..."

And April came and went,

and then May.

Come on in, Emmett.

Then summer came along,

like it always does.

Mrs. Tyler, I'd like to introduce Emmett.

I'm starting him off in the ticket booth.

I think he's got great potential.

This is, uh, this is my cousin, Barry.

Barry? Barry?

This is... this is Emmett.

He's got great potential.

Show Emmett how the register works.

On second thought, Emmett,

go get me a Diet Pepsi and some Dentyne

from the Quickie Stop.

Yes, ma'am.

Where have you been?

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