Victoria & Abdul Page #2

---

(GASPS) Everybody out!

You two, stairs, now!

(CHATTER)

Jesus Christ!

Where are the quenelles?

Oi, you two,

out of it!

She's at the station, sir!

Jesus H Christ,

she's at the station!

For God's sake,

just wait where you were told.

Open the door.

Open the doors!

Open the doors!

Open the doors!

(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)

(SCATTERED CHATTER)

She's here.

Soup.

Soup!

Soup! Soup!

Soup!

(EXTENDED) Soup!

(TRUMPET PLAYING)

(SIGHS) Thank heavens!

Soup, Your Majesty.

What, are you taking it all?

I haven't finished yet.

I'm afraid you

have to be quick.

They take it off you

as soon as she's done.

One down, six to go.

The morue aux hutres,

and then the quenelle.

Yes, sir.

"The morue aux hutres,

and then the quenelles."

This is bloody ridiculous.

Two months in a boat, and I

haven't even got a tray?

GUEST:
Yes. Apparently you

have to chew it 32 times.

(INDISTINCT)

I have the Mohur.

Is that it?

(SNORING)

Your Majesty?

Your Majesty?

The, uh...

The profiteroles.

(SIGHING)

MOHAMMED:
Is that it?

Profiteroles have gone.

Gentlemen, process,

turn, bow, present,

and absolutely no

eye contact whatsoever.

(FANFARE PLAYING)

SIR HENRY:
A gift

from the Indian Empire.

A Mohur, Your Majesty.

A what?

A Mughal coin,

Your Majesty.

In honor of your service

to the subcontinent.

(GROANS)

Have we finished?

We still have coffee,

Your Majesty.

(GROANS)

Eyes!

Good morning, Your Majesty.

SIR HENRY:
Breakfast with

the Royal Princes of Belgium.

11:
00, an audience

with the Sultan of Dubai

where Her Majesty will be presented

with the Diamond of Ooojay.

Garden party where

Her Majesty will receive

Oscar II, King of

Sweden and Norway, again.

And Queen Lili'uokalani.

Who on Earth is she?

A monarch and

sole Queen Regnant

of the Kingdom of Hawaii,

Your Majesty.

She has composed

a song for you.

On the ukulele.

But we have managed

to put her off.

Then you will eat with the

Prime Minister, and, at 7:00,

the banquet in

the State Dining Room.

And your movements,

Your Majesty?

Nothing to speak of,

Dr. Reid.

Not even during the day?

We last moved on

Sunday evening.

I fear these

celebratory dinners

are taking their toll,

Your Majesty.

Might I suggest

some Benger's mixture?

I refuse to eat Benger's.

It's baby food.

But it is imperative,

Your Majesty,

that the Royal colon

receives a little roughage.

Anything else?

SIR HENRY:
Was Your Majesty

pleased with the Mohur?

What?

The Mohur.

The ceremonial coin.

Presented by the

two Indian servants.

I thought the tall one

was terribly handsome.

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

(GRUNTS)

Stop!

Slight change of plan.

You must not talk

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes