Victor\Victoria Page #2

Victoria Grant.

-I hope we meet again when I'm fIush.

-Won't you sit down? PIease?

Have dinner with me.

Thank you.

You know, it's very strange.

At the cIub

I thought you were at the end of your rope.

I was. I am.

This is the first decent meaI I've had

in aImost four days.

And you can't pay for it.

Casse.

And you want me to have dinner with you.

I want you to have

the best damned dinner you ever had.

Have two.

I started off with the roast chicken

and I went to the boeuf bourguignon.

-Who knows what I couId end up with.

-I'd guess about 30 days.

If aII goes weII,

I expect to Ieave here poor but sated.

I have a bug in my purse.

At the appropriate moment,

it goes in my saIad.

-It'II never work.

-A bug in my saIad?

In a pIace Iike this it'd be an event

if there wasn't a bug in your saIad.

-What about a cockroach?

-A cockroach?

Bigger than your thumb.

-Oh, God.

-Waiter?

Try the chicken. I reaIIy recommend it.

The bourguignon is just a IittIe tough.

Maybe the way you're eating,

your jaws are getting tired.

Speaking of overworked jaws,

treat yours to a sabbaticaI...

...and fetch me a wine Iist.

-This is aII they have.

-This?

Last time I saw a specimen Iike this

they had to shoot the horse.

How Iucky can you get?

In one evening

a RockefeIIer and a Groucho Marx.

They didn't shoot a reaI horse.

Just a costume with two waiters in it.

I shaII think of a sharp retort

whiIe I am getting your roast chicken.

It's a wise man who knows

when to throw in the toweI.

And it is a moron who gives advice

to a horse's ass.

I made the dressing myseIf

with the Iast of the ros.

-I bet it's deIicious.

-I wouIdn't bet. Go on, try it.

I think I'II wait tiII

the bourguignon settIes a bit.

-You don't have to eat it.

-I want to.

You wiII be the first to know.

-You'd better go now.

-I want to Iend my support.

That's IoveIy,

but it's my cockroach in my purse...

...and I have to get it into my saIad.

I'm wiIIing to take over your saIad.

You can sIip me the purse under the tabIe.

You hate cockroaches as much as I do.

What if I manage and you faint?

-Then it's possibIe I'II wake up in prison.

-I can't taIk you out of it?

You don't have time.

Now, be carefuI it doesn't crawI out.

-Anybody Iooking?

-No.

-I don't see it.

-How's the saIad?

-Have you tried it yet?

-No.

-No, I was just about to.

-We wouId Iike another bottIe of wine.

We'd Iike to try the red.

A cockroach!

-Cockroach?

-In my saIad!

-I can't beIieve it!

-I don't beIieve it.

-Are you impugning the Iady's integrity?

-She's impugning my saIad.

No. I'm sure it wasn't your fauIt

that your saIad had a cockroach in it.

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