Varsity Blues Page #3
got it. Button hook right, on three !
- Slow enough he could've mailed it.
- Well, there you go, Sammy boy.
- Let's see it.
- Let's show them how it's done.
Dad, you're gonna fall in the barbecue.
Slant right, on three.
Don't talk back to your father.
Hit it !
- I guess bad hands run in the family.
- What's that supposed to mean ?
Don't get your panties in a bunch.
If Kilmer weren't such a prick,
my boy would be starting quarterback.
Is that a fact ?
And you think he's first-string ?
- That's right.
- I smell a challenge.
You think you're better than my boy ?
Hell, it ain't multiple choice.
Let's settle this once and for all.
You all remember William Tell. Let's
show them what it takes to be a starter.
- Stop it, Dad. This isn't funny.
- Show them what you're made of.
Nail it, Lance !
- You're up, Sammy boy.
- Dad, come on, this is stupid.
Throw it.
- Sporting some 'tude now !
- Be a winner, throw the ball !
- You can do it !
- Sit on the bench !
- Show us what you do best !
- He's chicken !
- Throw that damn ball !
- You feel like chicken tonight ?
I raised you to be a winner, so win !
Fire that f***ing pigskin.
- Nice shot !
- Not ice, get him a beer.
Oh, my God.
Ladies and gentlemen...
We are adults.
I think it's necessary we move beyond
the common nomenclature
commonly associated
with sexual reproduction.
Now, I want everybody together
to go ahead and say :
Penis, penis, penis.
Vagina, vagina, vagina.
Come on, y'all, say it.
Penis, penis, penis.
Vagina, vagina, vagina.
Good !
I think it's also very important
that we discuss, and discard,
any slang terms
for different sex organs... Please.
Because today we are going to begin
our study of...
...the male erection.
Hand down, Billy Bob.
What are a few slang expressions
for the male erection
we want to identify and discard ?
- Elliot ?
- "Boner" ?
- Is boner one of them ?
- Yes, boner is good...
- Boner is... What, Billy Bob ?
- Can I go to the bathroom ?
Does anybody have any others
before we move on ?
Mr Moxon,
will you share with us ?
The male erection ?
Pitching a tent, sporting a wood.
Icicles formed. The march is on.
Stiffy. Mr Mortis.
Rigor mortis has set in. Flesh rocket.
Jack's magic beanstalk.
Tall Tommy. Mushroom on a stick.
Purple-headed yoghurt-slinger.
And... Pedro.
Pedro ?
- Billy Bob, are you okay ?
- Yes, ma'am.
Call the nurse.
Go on now.
- How are you feeling, son ?
- I can't hold down any chow.
Must be nerves. Don't you worry.
You'll play every minute of that game.
The nurse doesn't think I should play.
- Oh, she doesn't, does she ?
- 'Cause I whacked my head last week.
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"Varsity Blues" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 28 Mar. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/varsity_blues_22754>.
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