Van Wilder

Synopsis: In certain circles, Van Wilder is a living legend at Coolidge College, where he's been a student now for seven years, not yet having completed his degree requirements. Despite being bright, he never attends classes anymore, instead hosting parties, imparting his brand of wisdom to his adoring fans, hosting school organization fundraisers, and rallying the college spirit among the student body. Conversely, Van loves his Coolidge life. In his antics, he has a 2ic in Hutch, and always hires a personal assistant, this year's being a South Asian transfer student named Taj, who wants to learn from the best, namely Van. Van's college life is threatened when his wealthy neglectful father only now learns that Van is still in school, Wilder Sr. who has been paying his way all this time. As such, Wilder Sr. pulls the plug on that subsidy, meaning that Van has to figure out a way to pay for his Coolidge life. Because of his living legend status, Van becomes the subject of a series of articles by t
Genre: Comedy, Romance
Director(s): Walt Becker
Production: Artisan Entertainment
  2 nominations.
Rotten Tomatoes:
92 min

I would like very much to spend my

remaining days here as your assistant.

Okay. We're just gonna do

a little word association.

Say the first thing

that comes to your mind. Milk.


Oh, Mommy.

Most Indians would say "cow"

because they are sacred...

but I hear milk,"

I think giant jugs.

You see, I cannot

go home a virgin.

I came here to study the great

American art of muff diving.

To smack clam, munch rug...

dine at just one American

pink taco stand.

You know, I wanted to-- how is it--

park the porpoise.

I want to take it

through the car wash, baby.

And get it waxed.

I want to wax it. Wax it!

You know, and air dry.

Air dry that shit, yeah.

And I would like to be

your assistant very much...

Mr. Van Wilder.

You'll need a copy of my class schedule

so you can take notes.

You'll also handle my finances.

I lecture at the freshman crisis group

every other Monday.

I'm spearheading the Save

the Swim Team Speedo Spectacular...

and the Bloated Belly Beer Bash

to Battle Bulimia this semester.

This is Sick Boy's room. Not a week's

gone by he hasn't had an ailment.

Shingles, hepatitis, crabs.

That was his fault.

- Matzo ball soup. Jewish penicillin.

- Thanks, Van.

Don't pick at it.

Moving on.

I'm moving my 7:
15 to 8:15,

my 8:
15 to 9:45...

and my 9:
45 till Wednesday.

You owe $75,000 for the speed boat.

Cancel my guest lecture

at the Wharton School next week.

I feel like going somewhere tropical.

Tahiti. Are you writing this down?

- Yes, sir.

- You owe $200,000 for the thoroughbred.

Schedule a massage after my golf game

tomorrow afternoon.

- With a happy ending?

- Ah, yes.

And another $39,000 for your son's

tuition and housing this semester.


Van is still in school?

For the better part of a decade.


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    "Van Wilder" STANDS4 LLC, 2020. Web. 21 Oct. 2020. <>.

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