Urban Legend Page #2

where she's left the children

under her care...

to sleep.

Now, who's heard this before?

Well, that really happened

to a girl in my hometown.

Oh, yes.

I'm sure it did.

I'm sure most of you...

grew up thinking

this did happen to girls...

in all your hometowns...

but it didn't.

You see, the baby-sitter...

and the man upstairs...

is what we call an urban legend.

Contemporary folklore...

passed on as a true story.

There are variations

of this one...

going back to the 1960s...

all of them containing

the same cultural admonition:

Young women, mind your children...

or harm will come your way.

Excuse me?

Something funny

you might care to share with us...

Ms.?

No, I was just saying, like...

maybe the cultural admonition is:

Don't baby-sit.

Why don't you come up here...

and volunteer

for my little experiment, hmm?

Yeah, that's a great idea.

Now, young lady!

- Coming.

- Yeah, baby.

Don't worry.

You'll probably survive.

- Had those before?

- Yeah, they're Pop Rocks.

They crackle in your mouth.

Eat some.

Thirsty?

Well, what's wrong?

Something you might have heard

about mixing Pop Rocks and soda?

Well, supposedly...

your stomach and your intestines,

everything bursts.

Really? Anyone you know

who died this way?

Mikey, from the cereal commercial.

Give it to Mikey.

He'll eat anything.

You mean him?

Mikey likes it.

What if I told you

that this is Mikey...

alive and well and working

as an ad executive in New York City?

Would you drink some then?

I'll do it.

Your soda.

Voila! Still alive.

As I said, class...

this story is nothing

but an urban legend.

Professor!

He's gonna explode!

Somebody call 911! Go!

Thank you for your help.

Brilliant. He's brilliant.

He is such a moron.

Yeah, but who fell for it?

Hey, what's going on?

Excuse me, young man.

Can't read these.

She just left the campus.

- She went to Pendleton?

- You have got to be kidding me.

I knew I should've gone to N.Y.U.

Tragic, huh?

Hi.

Is this true?

I certainly hope so.

Otherwise I'm gonna have

one hell of a retraction on my hands.

What do you think you're doin'?

You can't just come

and take every copy here.

You're the one that wrote

this inflammatory piece of rubbish.

Actually, the fatuous quotes about

being deeply shocked and heartsick...

are yours, Dean Adams.

Let me tell you something,

young man.

The only lunatic

on this campus is you.

I'm flattered.

Can I quote you on that?

I have a quote for ya.

"U.S. News and World Report"...

named Pendleton the safest university

in this country.

And you best believe,

I intend to keep it that way.

Thank you, Reese.

I'll make sure...

and stick that in the special

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