Uptown Saturday Night Page #3

-All right!

What I tell you? I believe in miracles!

Yes, indeed, and Jesus wept.

My goodness, are you still here, brother?

-You must don't have no place to go.

-Here we go!

-Seven!

-Hello, seven!

-Nine.

-Place your bets.

-Nine is the point, darling.

-Here! Now!

-Nine, a winner!

-All right! Respect a sister.

-Send all them to the pawn shop.

-Change the dice.

Yeah, change the dice.

Hell, no! If you all can't stand the heat,

get out the kitchen!

-Harry S. Truman, December 17, 1952.

-That's right.

I was in the kitchen when he said it.

-Eleven!

-Hello!

-The dice have no sense whatsoever.

-Sometimes I don't understand it myself.

Here we go. Tap this. Tap it!

Seven again. Here we go.

You all come on. Please cover this area

because this money is waiting for friends.

Be nice and live.

All right, freeze!

Anybody makes a wrong move

gets put full of holes.

-We mean business!

-Do as you're told and you won't get hurt!

-I can't believe this!

-Shut up!

Everybody, hands up! Slowly!

As high as you can get them !

That's better.

Move away from the table!

Line up over there!

Hurry up!

Move it!

Keep your hands up.

This ain't no time to get brave, turkey.

Put it in the bag.

Give me those rings.

Keep them up.

Just in case

somebody's wearing a heater...

everybody strip down to their underwear,

ladies included.

Move it!

You, too, lady.

I don't wear underwear.

Don't play games.

Just get it off!

Lord, have mercy.

Stay where you are for 10 minutes.

Anybody tries to move before that

gets shot.

I want to thank you, brothers and sisters,

for a very lovely evening.

Never have so few owed

so much to so many.

Good night!

Amen! Truly wonderful!

Be seated, would you please?

We want to thank our choir

for that beautiful and inspiring rendition...

of a spiritual very close to our hearts.

Now I should like, at this time,

to remind those of you...

attending our church picnic next Sunday...

that buses will depart from the front

of the church after the service.

Now, we want to take a moment also...

to ask the weak among you...

to refrain from bringing brown paper bags

to the picnic.

We're gonna have enough

brown paper bags with the lunch in them.

You know what I mean?

I mean, after all,

we are having a church social...

and not a fraternity boat ride!

Now, I repeat, there will be no...

there will be no joy juice allowed!

Let me hear what I said.

No joy juice allowed!

Would you repeat that for me

one more time?

No joy juice allowed!

We will, right after the service,

search all of the choir robes.

I want everybody to understand...

the buses will not leave

before the service is over...

and he who hesitates will be left.

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