Uptown Saturday Night

-Sarah?

-Yes?

Would you mind living in the country?

Course not. You're forgetting

I was born in the country. It's in my blood.

Someday maybe we can move back

down South someplace.

I think that would be real nice, baby.

Okay, I'm going to keep that in mind.

-You know, I was just thinking.

-What?

About when we first met.

You were living on Somerset Street

with your sister, Lela.

I was a young girl,

fresh from the country then.

You had the biggest butt I ever saw.

-Steve, if you don't stop....

-But it's the truth. Good-looking behind.

Said to myseIf when I first saw it:

"She got to be from down home...

"because they don't make behinds

like that in the city."

Steve!

It's the truth.

Don't you men ever think

about nothing besides behinds?

-Legs and b*obs, but mostly behinds.

-Man!

I remember.

You sneaked through

the living-room window in the house...

with that crazy Charles...

-because he wanted to surprise Lela.

-Yeah, old Charles.

He was in a hurry to get home

from that war.

-He was your sister's first husband, right?

-No, honey, third.

You all looked so good in your uniforms,

especially you.

You know I didn't.

I was so tacky,

I didn't want you to see me.

I saw you. I couldn't miss that butt.

However, I knew the next time

you saw me, I'd have it together...

and you wouldn't be able to resist me.

Yeah, I knew it, too.

I took you out on our first date that night.

Yes, you did.

-Those were some beautiful days.

-Weren't they?

-Those walks we used to take in the park.

-You were the freshest man.

I was only doing

what a man's supposed to do.

-No, you were fresh, Steve Jackson.

-I wonder if that tree's still there.

You ain't no damn good, you know that?

I used to stop by that tree,

and we used to kiss.

-I don't want to hear it.

-I used to take you out by that tree...

and press you against it real hard

and you used to love it.

-Stop.

-No, it's the truth.

You'd hardly wait till I came and took you

to that tree and press you against it.

You used to say, "Steve, press me again! "

Steve, you know you lying.

You know you are.

-You couldn't get enough of that tree.

-Oh, man.

That was all an act.

-An act?

-Yes, siree.

-Sarah, you was hardly acting.

-Yes, I was, too.

You just didn't know what was going on.

I knew if I acted all shy and scared,

that would make you like me more.

-Woman, you can't fool me with no act.

-I see you married to me.

I got to admit you got me there, Sarah.

But if I had to do it all over again,

I wouldn't change a thing.

-You know something?

-What?

After 20 years of marriage,

two kids, and three jobs...

you still got the biggest butt I ever saw.

You're my queen, Sarah.

Thank you, my dear husband.

lt makes me very happy

to hear you say that.

Young blood.

-What's happening?

-Same old, same as old here.

Vacation starts today?

-You decided what you gonna do?

-I don't know.

Might walk the streets for two weeks...

bringing sunshine and brightness

to lonely dudes like you.

That's not funny.

-Come on. I'll buy you a drink.

-Okay.

How's your other job?

Rotten, boring, and underpaid,

but thank you, Jesus.

-Yes, Lord. Same here.

-Say, man, let's go to Zenobia's tonight.

-Where?

-Zenobia's.

You got to be crazy.

We ain't got that kind of money.

Will we ever? Come on, man.

I feel like cutting loose.

Bottle of beer costs $5 in that place.

You only live once.

What you say, homeboy?

Nothing doing. You ever been there?

Yeah...and no.

I dropped some people off with the cab...

but there be some fine mamas coming

in that place.

Count me out, young blood.

That's too fancy for me.

Some fine mamas coming in there.

No!

To your vacation.

Freddy, come here.

You ever been to Zenobia's?

Will you tell this man

about Zenobia's, please?

What's there to tell?

Once you go in,

you don't never want to come out.

It's the hippest place in the world.

You ought to check it out, Steve.

Let's go tonight. Shall we check it out?

I'll see how I feel

after Sarah goes to sleep.

-After Sarah goes to sleep?

-Yeah.

You mean you got to sneak out?

This guy....

You mean to tell me

you're so henpecked...

that you got to sneak out the house?

You better tighten up

on your married life, Jack.

You tell her you're going out, and that's it!

-You gonna leave Irma and go out, right?

-That's right.

I'm boss in my house.

I'm the king. B-O-S-S.

Sneaking out.

Man, I snap my fingers

and Irma jumps up...

and don't come down till I tell her to.

-That's right.

-All right.

-You name the time.

-All right.

-You meet me at 1 :00.

-1 :
00.

After Irma goes to sleep.

You got to be a member

to get in here, don't you?

Yeah, don't worry about that.

Just look important.

Act like we're into something.

Your names, please?

Will you wait here a moment?

What's on that paper?

Our letter of introduction.

From who?

I wrote it myseIf on some stationery

from the law office where Irma works.

What it say?

Says, "To whom it may concern...

"the bearers of this letter are two very

important men in the diamond business.

"Any courtesies you can extend to them

would be greatly appreciated."

Signed Jerome Mordechai Wilkenson.

-Who's Jerome Mordechai Wilkenson?

-I have no idea...

but I sure hope

he don't show up here tonight.

Gentlemen.

Hello, Susie. How are you?

I heard about you, Daniel! Yes, I did.

-Gentlemen, how do you do?

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes