Unhinged in Hollywood Page #2
- UNRATED
- Year:
- 2015
- 71 min
- 524 Views
Jeff Dunham:
Why would Aquaman be on Hollywood Boulevard?Walter:
Well, there's a drought, I guess he's homeless. (LAUGHS)(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
Jeff Dunham:
You know, Walter, there are a lot of things to like about Los Angeles-Walter:
Like what? Traffic from hell. Highest gas pricesin the country. Wildfires. Mudslides and earthquakes, yay! I love it here! Dumb ass.
Jeff Dunham:
You ever been in an earthquake?Walter:
Uh, does my wife falling off of the couch count? "What the **** Oh, it's you. All right."Jeff Dunham:
Why are you in a bad mood already?Walter:
Well, do you know what it's like to wake up and discover that your wife of 45 years has left and isn't coming back?Jeff Dunham:
No, I don't.Walter:
Yeah. Me neither. But I can dream, can't I?(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
Jeff Dunham:
Is it really that bad?Walter:
Yes. The other day, before her birthday, she started yelling at me, "Tomorrow, I'd better see a diamond."Jeff Dunham:
Oh, a diamond. What'd you do?Walter:
I took her to a baseball game.(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
Jeff Dunham:
So, does your wife like Hollywood?Walter:
Yeah, but she thinks it's crazy how many folks in this town get plastic surgery.Jeff Dunham:
Oh. She wouldn't do that?Walter:
Why?Jeff Dunham:
Why not?Walter:
Come on. Putting new headlights on a minivandoesn't make it a Corvette.
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
Walter:
Yeah, these guys know what I'm talking about. And the women who get those fake, giant whoo-haws, they don't want you to miss them either.Jeff Dunham:
How's that?Walter:
If you look those women in the eye when you're talking to them, they get all pissed off and they go, "Hey,my b*obs are down here."
Jeff Dunham:
I bet your wife likes at least a few things in LA.Walter:
Like what?Jeff Dunham:
I don't know, The Kardashians are filmed there-Walter:
(GAGS)(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING AND CHEERING)
Walter:
I'm sorry, I threw up in my mouth a little. Kardashians. Hey! Who the hell's that new tall chick?She's kind of hot-
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
Walter:
Did I miss something?Jeff Dunham:
Yeah, I think so.Walter:
What the hell are you laughing at?Jeff Dunham:
Walter, that's Caitlyn.Walter:
Who the hell is Caitlyn? Oh! Bruce has a sister?Jeff Dunham:
No.(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
Walter:
What the hell is so funny? What, is she available?Jeff:
No, I don't know. Like, what does your wife watch on TV?Walter:
I don't care.Jeff:
Are you guys happy?Walter:
Look at me.Jeff:
Well, you still love her.Walter:
Yeah, of course, but like most marriages, we have been through some difficult times
Translation
Translate and read this script in other languages:
Select another language:
- - Select -
- 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
- 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
- Español (Spanish)
- Esperanto (Esperanto)
- 日本語 (Japanese)
- Português (Portuguese)
- Deutsch (German)
- العربية (Arabic)
- Français (French)
- Русский (Russian)
- ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
- 한국어 (Korean)
- עברית (Hebrew)
- Gaeilge (Irish)
- Українська (Ukrainian)
- اردو (Urdu)
- Magyar (Hungarian)
- मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
- Indonesia (Indonesian)
- Italiano (Italian)
- தமிழ் (Tamil)
- Türkçe (Turkish)
- తెలుగు (Telugu)
- ภาษาไทย (Thai)
- Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
- Čeština (Czech)
- Polski (Polish)
- Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
- Românește (Romanian)
- Nederlands (Dutch)
- Ελληνικά (Greek)
- Latinum (Latin)
- Svenska (Swedish)
- Dansk (Danish)
- Suomi (Finnish)
- فارسی (Persian)
- ייִדיש (Yiddish)
- հայերեն (Armenian)
- Norsk (Norwegian)
- English (English)
Citation
Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:
Style:MLAChicagoAPA
"Unhinged in Hollywood" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 18 Apr. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/unhinged_in_hollywood_22582>.
Discuss this script with the community:
Report Comment
We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.
If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly.
Attachment
You need to be logged in to favorite.
Log In