Undercover Grandpa Page #2

All of that is a lie!

AH of you, that is a He!

Your accusations... Ah! Uh...

- Mr. Komenkho,

are you all right?

It's a heart attack!

- Jakey, is that you?

- Yeah, it's me!

- It looks like Ge-

- I've been home for an hour!

Where have you been?

- Sorry, I was getting ready.

What do you think?

- Very handsome.

Thank you for remembering.

- Remembering what?

- About tonight.

- What are you talking about?

- Second and last Friday

of every month:

dinner with Grandpa.

- No. No, no, no.

Not tonight.

- Why not tonight?

- I have a date tonight.

- You can see Wendell

another time.

- It's not with Wendell.

It's with a girl!

Please don't laugh.

- Sorry.

Seriously.

Who's it with?

- You know her.

Angie Wagner.

- Little Angie Wagner?

How is she?

- She's a hard 10.

That's how she is.

And I'm like a soft 6.

- Seven.

- If I blow her off.

She'll never talk to me.

- Grandpa only gels out of

that awful old-folks home

twice a month

for dinner with us.

- We can do it tomorrow night.

Any other night. Please!

- No, no, no! Twice

a month. no canceling.

Old people need consistency.

Otherwise they get confused.

- He's already confused.

He thinks he's being watched.

- Being in the armed forces

has made Grandpa a little...

- Crazy?

- Jake Bouchard!

You can see little

Angie Wagner aflerwards.

Your dad's here with Grandpa.

- Yay!

- Be nice.

- So, what tall tales is Grandpa

gonna tell us tonight, huh?

Nazi zombies?

Communist garden gnomes?

- They were suspicious-looking

garden gnomes.

- Yeah, 'cause in this house.

That's totally normal.

Hey, Dad, what's Grandpa doing?

- Oh, you know, there is

a van parked by the Grossbergs,

and he won't get out of the car

because he thinks

it's a surveillance van.

- Are the Grossbergs

having a circumcision?

- Jake, cover the TV, oh,

and the... the... the blinds.

- Blinds.

- Blinds.

I can't

Believe we still do this.

- The televisions are covered?

- They sure are!

- The one in the kitchen loo?

- Yep!

- Well...

That, uh, surveillance

truck finally moved.

- Yeah, of course, Dad.

- Hi. son!

- Hi!

- Let's eat.

- Let's do it!

- OK...

Are you enjoying

your chicken, Dad?

- Yes.

- OK.

- Did I ever tell you

that Sanders, right.

He was the worst cook

our unit had.

- You knew Colonel

Sanders, Grandpa?

- Are you kidding?

You know, during the

Second Occupation of Cuba,

Private Sanders, he used to

shovel mule poop, right?

So, there was no, "Finger

lickin' good," you know?

Trust me!

And, um, basically.

I kind of invented the style

of Kentucky Fried Chicken.

- Hmm! Here we go...

- Me and my men...

Not my men.

A special unit I had.

We called them

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