U.S.S.S.S...

Year:
2003
34 Views


Hi.

What's love got to do it,

got to do it.

What's love, in the sector.

Come on! Hey!

What's love got to do it...

Hi.

I need you to watch the

store for a while.

Yeah, ok.

- And give me my phone back.

I'll be there in half an hour.

What?

You got a cig?

- No.

Got any money?

Sh*t.

Good day, officer.

Officer. What do you mean "officer"?

It's just slang.

How about you talk Icelandic

when you live in Iceland?

Huh?

- Step out of the car.

What did I do?

What did you do?

You came into this world.

Well, well, well.

A n*gger!

Exactly.

I'll have one red Gold Coast.

That'll be 305 krnur.

Don't light it in here.

- No, don't worry.

Listen, I just have 300.

Isn't it okay?

Do you think this is a charity?

Huh, no.

Do you have five krnur?

Yeah.

Can I borrow them?

No, not really.

Lend me five krnur or I'll

rip out your throat.

Easy there, buddy.

I'll have no threats in here.

Get out.

F*** this.

Come here.

What are you going to do to me?

What are we doing here?

Do you know how boring it is to be

a cop in Reykjavik?

Huh!

At least when I joined the police

back in 1994.

I expected something else than

sitting on my ass

waiting for some 17 year olds

to go over 60 km/h downtown.

The years passed by.

One. Two. Three.

And nothing happened.

Just some f***ing bureaucracy

bullshit.

And maybe a case of domestic

violence. If you're lucky.

Then, three years ago, I was watching

Surviving the Game with the boys.

Starring Ice-T.

Have you seen it?

- Yes.

Do you remember the story?

A bunch of white guys go

to the countryside.

And bring a black guy to hunt him.

You're crazy.

It may well be.

But at least we ain't black.

So you just randomly pick someone,

take him to the countryside and kill him.

Just to break up the monotony

of everyday life.

Is that it?

Not exactly. There are rules.

We don't just kill anybody.

The chosen one has to belong

to a certain minority.

Immigrants, invalids, gays, witnesses.

- Witnesses?

Jehovah's witnesses.

Run.

Hi, sweetie.

Just wait one second.

So, where are you?

There was a man who said he'd rip

out my throat. Then he stole my bike.

What! Where are you?

No, don't go anywhere.

Stay there.

What's wrong, sweetie.

Stjni's bike was stolen.

The Trek bike with the suspensions.

Yeah, 80 thousand krnur.

- No!

Easy, we'll do it afterwards.

Let's toss him in the trunk.

It's only noon.

What's this?

This?

This is the new, fully automatic

carpet cleaner.

Did you steal it?

Yes

- Why?

Because I'm a thief.

Wasn't that the deal? I steal

things and you sell them.

This ain't no f***ing bike shop.

I don't want this thing around

here.

Wait, were you and Koll quarreling?

Why do you say that.

Just, you're so tense.

She went apeshit on me.

She threw a book and a rooster

at me.

And tossed the TV at the neighbour.

The TV at the neighbour!?

She's so tense.

Sli, broads are crazy. I'm always

telling you that they drive you insane.

My philosophy is; you have to

sacrifice a steady sex life

for mental well-being. It's a fact.

Yeah, maybe.

What about you? Did you mount her?

Didn't you hear?

Faster. So good.

- What are you talking about?

Hi.

What's wrong?

Give me the phone.

I'll be right back.

You watch the store meanwhile.

F***ing genius.

Genius? Easy, there's more.

Wha! Are you leaving?

- Yes.

Wait, that's not fair.

Life isn't fair, now is it?

So? Weren't you bummed out?

Bummed out? I was crushed.

I hope you didn't let that f***ing

b*tch get away with it.

No.

I was really pissed so I went after

her like a f***ing Dracula.

Why did you stop in the midst of

the game?

I just can't sleep with someone

I don't respect.

That you don't respect.

Don't you respect me?

Being of christian upbringing,

I just can't

respect someone who goes down

on me on the first date.

Were you crying?

Come with me. We'll leave the

talking to Baddi.

Good afternoon.

- Good afternoon.

What happened?

You know you can't cry like that.

You can't show any signs of weakness.

I know. I was just so angry that

I didn't lock my bike.

Yeah, but remember rule number three.

Yes.

- Let me hear.

Never, never acknowledge

your errors.

Always, always blame someone else.

Exactly. Don't worry about

the bike.

Baddi and I will find the

guy who stole it.

We'll arrest him, punish him,

and it'll be over.

Come on, I'll show you something

cool.

Mum's the word, ok?

Baddi and I are going hunting

afterwards. Wanna come with us?

It would be awesome.

- Ok.

Go see your mum

and grab a bite to eat.

Baddi and I will get your

bike back.

Then we'll head out together.

- Ok.

Just look how he's grown.

This is why I get up in the

morning.

Stop, before I cry.

What did the geezer say?

Rebbi.

It became fast clear what he

would grow into.

I can't remember him other than

being a bloody little thief.

He was only eight when I

first caught him in the act.

What do you think you're doing?

Nothing.

You're going nowhere, my friend.

Give me back those caramels.

What caramels?

Give them back or I'll

call the police.

Stop, stop it.

You can't kiss my peepee.

Yes. That's for sure. He

must have stolen that bike.

His name is Rebbert Grmsson.

Hi.

How are you doing?

I'm a happy man.

I'm incredibly happy.

Life loves me.

- Okay.

Listen.

Do you have...

Britny Fox.

I don't think so.

I'll check.

Bjartmar.

Yeah.

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Eiríkur Leifsson

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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