Tusk Page #2

Yeah, it's about two hours from here.

Yeah, the kids here at

the convenience store

are telling me that it's

"aboot" two hours away.

I hate American guys.

Yeah, what's your address?

So to this end, I'm

offering a room for rent

in my stately woodland home.

This arrangement will be free of charge,

providing you perform the

simple household chores

I can no longer tend to

from the confines of

this cursed wheelchair.

But though I may be old, I have lived.

And I will tell you all

about my many adventures,

in vivid detail.

Please feel free to call

me at the number below.

Respectfully, Howard Howe.

All right. This better

be f***ing worth it.

You have arrived at your destination.

Hello? Hello?

Hello! Up here, please.

Hello?

Good evening!

Mr. Howe?

Well actually, it's Howard.

Mr. Howard, hey!

You know, when people first

become entangled with my name,

it's much like a French bedroom farce.

Now, Mr. Howe would be appropriate,

but I prefer the intimacy of Howard.

Howard.

Now that we have that

unpleasantness out of the way,

may I welcome you to

Pippy Hill, my home.

Oh, yes. It's great.

- It's nice to meet you.

- Pleasure. Pleasure.

Could I interest you in some tea?

You can. But first, uh...

Can I use your bathroom?

Smashing.

Phew!

Hoo-ah!

Oh, Jesus!

Whoo!

Well, did everything come out all right?

Oh, yeah. Great.

Thank you.

You're welcome, there's your tea.

All right. Thank you.

You know, my second wife...

I presume my last...

Used to say, bless her heart.

"Rather saint than sin,

Better out than in. "

She was referring to gas,

of course! Her own, mind you.

That's great.

This... Thank you.

You bet.

God damn, this is good.

So did you find the

water closet satisfactory?

Oh, yes. Thank you so much.

That was great!

I was holding it in for half the ride.

It's a little embarrassing but, um...

I was kinda spooked to get out of

the car in the middle of nowhere.

...You know.

I must say

your phone call intrigued me.

Well, I'm telling you,

your handbill intrigued me.

Did I understand you

correctly on the phone

when you said you weren't

looking for a living arrangement?

Mmm-mmm.

No, I live in Los Angeles.

- Oh?

- Yeah.

City of Angels.

Well, I've never seen any myself.

More the opposite, really.

My grandma, Mimsy, used to tell us,

"You needn't go very far to

find hell in a hand basket. "

I like that. I like Mimsy.

Oh, my grandma... My

grandma used to say...

She'd say, "Hell is your children. "

Chain smoker, "Hell is your

children. " She was the worst.

How droll.

She must've been an interesting woman.

Oh, now, she was flatulent.

Oh, let me tell you, it was cra...

I've never seen anything like

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