Tube Tales Page #3

- What, man?

- Take another one.

I hadn't seen him for 10 years.

Look, I don't want you

to walk with me.

Hold it there, alright? Just wait

there for me. I won't be a minute.

Roy, Charlie, come in.

Is there anyone upstairs?

- Yeah, it 's Roy.

- Suspect coming up towards you.

Young guy wearing jeans with VEX

written on them and a black jacket.

- He should be going up the escalator.

- All right.

You can't miss it.

- It 's your lucky day, boy.

- No, my friend. It 's your lucky day.

Yes, got it.

F***!

Sh*t!

Stevie, I told you. You're not fat.

You're just big-boned.

F*** it.

Come on, then.

- Shut up and get over there.

- All right, mate. Calm down.

Roy, did you get him?

- Who's this guy?

- Everything's under control, Sonia.

Can I see your ticket, please, sir?

What?

Your ticket, mate.

No.

I need to see your ticket.

Is that all you want?

The f***ing ticket?

I've got a f***ing ticket!

Thank you, sir.

F***! F***!

- Nice one. I love working with you.

- F***!

Dad! Dad!

- Come.

- I'm coming.

What 's that?

- I made it myself.

- Marmite?

Mom says this is good for you.

Yeah, well, it is in beer.

Come on, on your toes.

- What 's been happening?

- Mom's a nightmare as usual.

She fancies Leonardo Di Caprio now.

- Why is that then?

- Cause he's so posh.

- I don't drink tea anymore, dad.

- What do you mean with that?

Mom says I'd always want some of

yours when you got back from work.

You did?

I'd follow you about and make

you put some in my plastic cup.

- Yeah, you did.

- I think it 's bitter.

Yeah, it is.

No, don't f*** about.

- What 's your mom doing today?

- She's in bed.

- All day?

- Sometimes.

- You had a wash?

- 0f course.

Come.

- I don't want you going back mucky.

- I always get back mucky.

Mind that tire.

- Di Caprio is a bit young for her.

- She likes them young.

0h, I see.

Race you upstairs. Lively!

I'm tracing your footsteps.

Hold on, hold on.

You should pack up smoking, mate.

You'll get black lungs.

F*** that.

Look at that.

You must be right. In 1748 that

meant you knew where you were.

That 's to do with lunch, that 's not

to do with time, but with space.

That 's totally different from when

the clock's wrong in Cornwall.

No, no, Gerard was in 1198. That

was completely different then.

That was the first Latin travelogue,

and that was relative.

It 's to do with Einstein, with

numbers. Numbers, you know?

No, there's two of them.

It can't work out.

No, it 's the other way around.

It has to do with numbers,

somewhere. Real numbers.

Real numbers, not fractions.

Go on, my son.

- Hi, mate.

- I'm alright. Nice.

- Here you go.

- Thanks.

Excuse me.

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