Tube Tales Page #2

have a light shining out your arse!

What 's wrong with you? Listen,

keep this professional, man.

- Sit down, man.

- I'm alright, man.

- Sit down. There's a seat over here.

- I don't want to sit there.

- What are you standing for?

- I don't want to sit down!

What 's up with you, man?

All right, mate!

- No...

- Blimey, what have you been up to?

No. No!

I know what you're screwing over.

- Yeah, what?

- Stevie man, you ain't fat.

I know Eve was telling everyone last

night she thought you put weight.

That weight is muscle, you get me?

You're getting broad, man.

- Like a 2-lane turning into a 4-lane.

- Mo, what are you talking about?

Yeah, I'm a travelling

salesman now.

Yeah, the basic's f***ing sh*t, but

the commission's f***ing excellent.

You ain't going to make 50,000 in

a day, but still there's potential.

God, I promise I'll never do this

again. Get me through this, please.

I'm not a loser.

I'll get a real job, I swear.

I'm selling these things now, look.

They're alright as it goes, right?

They've got a pen on one side, right?

It 's a bit leaky that one, right.

And you've got a pencil on the

other side, plus a separate rubber.

I was fat once, man.

I wasn't no biggie no nothing.

But then with my kickboxing,

tae kwon do, kung fu and sh*t...

I'm now down to what

I consider my ideal weight.

- It 's possible, man. Don't give up.

- Mo, shut up!

I prefer the felt tips we sold last

month. These ain't shifting, but...

there's always tomorrow,

Billy boy.

I don't know who the f*** you are.

Just f*** off and leave me alone!

I'm f***ing James, man,

from school!

Hey, listen, cause you ain't fat.

You've got the frame of a body

builder. All you need is the muscle.

- So are you working? Studying?

- I'm working, ain't I?

- 0h, yeah? What 's your job?

- I'm a computer engineer.

F***ing hell, man!

That 's what I wanna do!

That 's where the money is at,

at the call-in charge.

Excuse me.

- Do you think he's fat?

- Sorry?

Do you think he's fat?

- No.

- Thank you!

Stevie!

You can turn around now, man.

Stevie! Stevie!

It 's a good job I bumped into, mate.

You just made me remember.

You're looking well.

F*** it man, you are fat!

This f***ing train, man.

We're f***ing stuck here.

I'll tell you what: If I'm at the top

of your hit list, I'll take on you...

and all your extras, cause I ain't

no p*ssy cat. I'm Bulla, the bull.

- F***ing no! Not again, man!

- What the f*** are you doing?

- Calm down.

- What the f*** is this?

- It 's just a little bit of blood.

- Stupid wanker!

- I've got a nose bleed, all right?

- Stand back, please. Are you okay?

- I'm fine.

- Take this and hold your head back.

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