Trash Fire Page #2

- No, you're not getting out of this.

- Okay.

I'm fine.

- Hello.

- FLORENCE:
Hello.

Uh, Florence, I'd like

to start off by apologizing...

...for telling you to find a new line of work

at our one-on-one session the other day.

You seemed caught off-guard to find out

that you're terrible at your job...

- ...and I honestly thought you knew.

- Don't talk to Florence like that.

She fell asleep at our session.

Yeah, I'd fall asleep too, if I had to

listen to you talk for an hour straight.

You know, I'm beginning to feel like

my relationship with both of you...

...is becoming equally unhealthy.

Well, let's get back on track, shall we?

Isabel, you voiced a concern

about Owen's drinking.

- Do you still have an issue with that?

- BOTH:
No.

Because I told him I'd cut his dick off,

and he knew that, and I meant it.

She did tell me she'd cut off my dick...

...and I did know it, but I wasn't

particularly concerned on account...

...of the fact that I don't use it

for much except pissing.

In fact, I'd love to see it go...

...because all I do is look at it every day

and it reminds me of better times.

Now when I brought up your dick,

it wasn't my intention...

...for you to just run with it

as a topic of conversation.

You know, gay guys get excited about dick.

It's celebrated and sought

after in their community.

You show a picture of a dick

to a woman, watch her cringe.

What are you saying, you're gay now?

I'm saying, I wish I was. I wish I was.

It's not dick that makes women cringe,

it's specifically your dick.

Threatening Owen isn't going to help him

with his drinking problem.

- I don't have a drinking problem.

- Yes, you do...

...and all your idiotic friends

just encourage it.

Okay, so I'm a substance abuser

with an ugly dick...

...who's mentally ill-equipped to stand up

to peer pressure and you're dating me.

Sometimes you don't choose

who you fall in love with.

(SIGHS)

ISABEL:
All right, one drink here,

one drink at dinner, okay?

OWEN:
It's gonna take more than two

drinks for me to become detached enough...

...to make it through dinner

with your friends.

What do you mean "my friends?"

Sheldon and Mimi are our friends.

- Keep telling yourself that.

- What, come on, you and Sheldon are cool.

Sheldon and I do not have a friendship,

we have an understanding.

I'm going to give you

a chance to stop right now...

...before you piss me off enough

to a point there's turning back.

It has become painfully obvious

to Sheldon and myself...

...that we're going to have

to interact on a monthly basis...

...so we let you two

do most of the talking...

...we reduce our conversation

to banal pleasantries...

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