Trailer Park Of Terror

Man! Ain't nothing better than Two

Thousand Maniacs! I tell you. Right, Cigrit?

You damn right, Floyd.

That Herschell Gordon Lewis. Genius.

He started it all.

That man, he could take a crap on a plate

and I would sit down with some popcorn

and watch it.

Mmm-hmm. He was like

the Frank DiCaprio of his time.

He started it all. There wouldn't be

none of them movies, would they?

- The Chainsaw Massacre...

- That was all him.

- We saw the original right here.

- Right here.

Yeah. Y'all gotta watch it.

Tune in next week.

Tell them why they gotta tune in next week.

Next week? Blacula.

Oh, man. When you are right,

you are so gosh-dang right, Cigrit.

They are gonna be so scared,

their pants will be full of urine cakes.

That's what gonna happen.

Tune in, 'cause this

is the best dang show you got here.

And it's the only show you got here.

Tune in, or I'll shoot you dead!

- I've seen him do it.

Yes, siree!

You all better tune in

and watch the Trailer Park of Terror.

Pretty girl.

Today's the day, babe.

You come work for Miss China.

Give Asian massage.

Pretty girl make big money!

- Well, hey, Norma!

- Hey, kiddo.

Hey, Freddie.

- You ain't leaving me, are you?

- I wouldn't leave you.

Where you slinking off to like that,

pretty girl?

I don't recall giving you permission.

I don't answer to you.

- What's it matter to you, anyway?

- Hell, girl.

It don't matter a damn.

I was just curious, that's all.

Aaron's coming here.

We're going to a school dance.

Aaron?

- Stop it.

Oh, now. Lookee here!

Lookee here, y'all!

- Look at that, baby. Yeah.

- Stop it. Give me that.

- He's here for me.

- Sure he is.

- Marv...

- Boys like that don't come

to places like this for girls like you, Norma.

They come for something else.

And I was just figuring

on letting him know...

Get out of my way!

...how sweet you are

behind that pretty little dress of yours!

You ain't never gonna lay a hand on me

ever again. You understand?

What's wrong?

- Stop it.

You ain't never getting away

from us, girl!

Well, you looking like a b*tch in heat.

Y'all can shove that possum right up

your ass and be happy you're still alive.

You don't f***ing talk to me like that.

I smell fresh meat!

- Norma, you ain't leaving us, are you?

- No, honey, I'll see you later.

But it's our business so you mind your own

Well, here come Norma, so hot and sweet

She's looking just like a dog in heat

I bet that b*tch can turn a crank

And make a dead man come

like a Sherman tank

Hi.

Hi, Aaron.

- These are for you.

- Thank you.

I prefer roses.

What the hell do you think

you're doing, Roach?

Me and Aaron here

are just getting acquainted.

Just ignore him. He don't know

no better, just like the rest of them.

Hell, ain't you just like the rest of us,

candy pants?

No. I'm not.

Hell, Norma, you got us under your skin.

You ought to know that by now.

- Let's get outta here.

- Hey, hey, hey. Whoa, hey, now.

Let's mind our manners.

We ain't got acquainted with your fianc.

Marv, leave us the f*** alone.

We gotta make sure his intentions are pure.

We was watching out for you. Your

rich daddy buy you this sweet ride, boy?

Get outta the way, Stank.

- Roach, give me those keys.

- Look what I got!

You are a rich boy, ain't you?

No. I bought it on my own.

Yeah, not everybody's

a worthless sh*t-ass like you!

Did you hear that, Marv?

We got ourselves an achiever on our hands.

Well, well. An achiever.

- Goddamn world-beater.

- Leave him alone!

I'm just talking to Big Bank Hank here.

Figure I might wanna hire him

to be part of the team.

You could use an apprentice,

couldn't ya, Stank?

- You cannot find good help these days.

- That's right.

You need good help,

and you gonna need some money

to keep up with sweet cheeks here.

- Don't touch her!

- Don't touch me, Marv!

I'm gonna tell you something else.

You gonna need some skill and experience.

- The kind that a man has, not a boy.

- We're just going to a dance.

Just going to a dance.

- It's gonna be a hell of a long dance...

- Put it back!

- Leave him alone!

- Hey, mister!

- You listen to me and you listen good!

I'm gonna give you

a little marital advice, buddy.

Don't be expecting on your honeymoon,

when you dive deep into that well,

to look for pure water,

'cause I done primed that pump already.

- And it's...

- You're a lying son of a b*tch!

Hell, yeah! Boy, be a hero!

- He is an achiever! God damn!

- Let's see how big a one he is!

- Aaron!

Hell, Stank,

never kick a fresh turd on a hot day.

F*** you, Roach.

You know I didn't mean to.

No, no. Aaron! Aaron!

Oh, my God.

You pack of murdering

f*ggot bastards!

F*** you! F*** you! Huh, Marv?

No, don't you even look at me!

You want to touch me? You...

Baby, I'm sorry.

All I ever wanted... All I ever wanted was

for somebody to love me for me! For me!

Not the f***ing whore that you think I am!

Get me outta this f***ing hellhole!

You can all go straight to hell!

You're gonna all go straight to hell!

Howdy.

You don't look so good.

I said you don't look so good, honey.

Do I know you?

No, you don't. But I know you.

Everybody around here does.

You're Norma, the trailer-park queen.

Least, that's what all the boys say.

- Get out of my way!

- You see, a girl like you

grows up with nothing,

probably ain't gonna be nothing.

- It's just the natural order of things.

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