Tour de Pharmacy

Synopsis: A mockumentary that chronicles the prevalence of doping in the world of professional cycling.
Genre: Comedy, Sport
Director(s): Jake Szymanski
Production: HBO
 
IMDB:
7.1
Rotten Tomatoes:
87%
TV-MA
Year:
2017
39 min
11 Views

Slim Robinson!

Seeing another black

man on a bicycle was

a huge deal

for me, you know?

So,

a lot of people think of me as a boxer,

but what they really didn't know

is that I love bicycles.

When I was a kid,

I got a Schwinn bicycle,

and, man, I would ride

that bicycle all over

New York City.

But then one day

my bicycle was stolen.

When I finally found out

who stole my bicycle,

I beat the shit

outta that kid, man.

And I realized, "Hey,

I'm a better fighter

than I am a cyclist."

And this is how

I became a boxer.

My whole life,

people have been referring

to me as the nephew

of Jackie Robinson.

But I think

after what I do here today,

they're gonna start

calling him "Slim's uncle."

Really? You think

that people will start

to call Jackie Robinson

"Slim's uncle"?

Absolutely. Yeah.

I disagree.

Hamm:
But what no one knew

was that the color barrier

would not be the only

barrier to fall that year.

Because

I am woman,

everyone think I cannot

do what a man can do.

"How can you ride without

the dick and the balls?

How can you ride

a bike with a...

how you say?

You say "pussy."

So, this is why I had

to disguise myself as a man.

Honeycut:
Adrian Baton,

the great French mystery.

Being your first Tour,

were you rattled by anything?

The... the shaving of legs.

I've never done this before,

so this is

a first, uh...

I am a man, you are a man.

We don't shave our legs.

Right, but as a cyclist,

it's essential, isn't it?

But it is weird.

It was my first time talking

in public as a man...

Someone smells of lilac.

Is it her?

Oh, yes, uh,

very lilac

and very hot.

Ho, ho, ho, ho,

what a hot chick.

...and I think I nailed it.

Hamm:
There were still other firsts at the

'82 Tour,

including the appearance

of Marty Hass,

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Murray Miller

Murray Selig Miller (born December 2, 1976) is an American producer, writer and filmmaker. Miller has produced and written for many television programs, including King of the Hill (2006), American Dad! (2010), Girls (2013), 7 Days in Hell (2015), and Tour de Pharmacy (2017). more…

All Murray Miller scripts | Murray Miller Scripts

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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"Tour de Pharmacy" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2019. Web. 16 Sep. 2019. <https://www.scripts.com/script/tour_de_pharmacy_22138>.

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