Tour de Pharmacy Page #2

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the first-ever

African cyclist.

Marty Hass. Marty Hass.

Africa! What's up, Africa?

Feeling strong, ready for the race?

Woo!

Marty:
Oh, I was...

I was just, uh,

psyched, psyched,

psyched to be there,

you know,

representing Nigeria

and all my Nigerian

brothers and chicks.

Marty's father owned

a diamond mine

near Nigeria's capital...

...where he went to an

all-American private school.

He rarely associated

with actual Nigerians.

At a young age, Marty established

himself as the country's best cyclist,

because everyone else was

on bicycles made out of wood.

But on a serious note, Rex,

it is truly an honor

to be here to represent Africa,

because... I don't know

if you know this, but Africa's

actually going through

some pretty weak stuff.

Right. For example, oftentimes,

it'll get pretty warm there.

Here in Nigeria,

we hate Marty Hass.

Marty Hass would

walk into a bar,

then he would go

over to the jukebox

and put on Bob Marley, "Legend,"

and be shouting,

"African music!"

Jamaica is not in Africa.

Well, you seem very,

very proud of your homeland.

Indeed I am.

You know, I miss it.

Being here in France,

I miss it back home,

and... I bless the rains

down in Africa.

Right, right,

like the song.

Oh, I'm not familiar

with that.

It's the lyrics

to the Toto song, "Africa."

Uh, I'm not familiar

with that.

But at any rate,

it's gonna take a lot...

Both:

To drag me away from you.

From you. That's what I was gonna say!

Shall we do it in harmony?

That's so bizarre.

I was gonna say,

"Drag me away from you,

from this great interview."

Real Africans didn't like

that song, "Africa."

That's why he was lying.

You ever seen the dudes

in the band Toto?

Those dudes shouldn't

be singing about Africa.

Hamm:
There's an "honor among thieves"

code in cycling,

and openly discussing the use

of performance-enhancing drugs

is certainly off-limits.

But we found

one former cyclist

who was bold enough

to speak frankly

under the guise

of anonymity.

I'm standing here with the

legendary Gustav Ditters.

You look like you're

going to be carrying

a few extra pounds

on the bike this year.

Yes. This is what happens

when you train super hard,

on the bicycle.

Honeycut:
Well,

it is quite impressive.

Looks almost like you

could play a real sport.

Ditters:

Everyone was cheating.

Everyone...

except for me.

Honeycut:

I'm gonna have to work

extra hard to keep up

with you out there.

That's right,

you heard it.

This year, I'll be on the bike,

riding alongside the riders,

conducting my interviews

during the race,

that is if I don't

pass out immediately.

What do you think about that, Gustav?

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