Tormented Page #2

Is there somewhere quiet we can go?

I can't hear you.

Is there somewhere quieter we can go?

- Yeah, yeah, we can go upstairs.

- OK.

OK, good.

Um... this...

...this is Bradley's room. Obviously.

I'm sorry about the artwork.

This probably isn't

how you imagined our first date, but...

Oh, this is a date now?

Yeah, that was the basis

I was working on.

It's a pretty cheap date, Alex.

Yeah, but technically it still qualifies.

We're OK?

- We're not OK.

- We're OK.

Well, if this is a date,

then it does mean at some point

we're going to have to do some kissing.

You know, they're the rules,

I'm as annoyed about it as you are.

- Really?

- Yeah.

And will that be happening

any time soon?

Die, you f***er!

F***ing change weapon.

- Hang on.

- What is it, babes?

Oh, it'll only be Alexis

asking for more muscle

to prise the princess's knees apart.

It's from Mullet.

- Shut up. It's not funny.

- I'm not joking. It's his number.

Well, it'll only be his little friend.

You know, Jizzum Wanks.

You mean Jason Banks?

Oh, isn't... isn't that what I said?

- He says I'm a f***ing b*tch.

- Obviously knows you, then.

Piss off, Bradley.

Oh, my God.

He says I'm a filthy slag.

'You're a batty boy. '

' You're a batty boy. '

- OK, joke's over.

- 'You're... '

All right, Jizzum Wanks,

you creepy little twat,

tomorrow at school I'm going to

make kebabs out of your nads.

Sweet dreams.

- What did he say?

- Nothing, but I could hear him breathing.

Sorry.

' I'm going to kill you.

' I'm going to kill you.

' I'm going to kill you. '

Someone could walk in on us.

It's just me and you.

Punked, you f***ers.

Hug your pillow. Hug your pillow.

F*** you, all right? F*** off.

Mullet?

Mullet? Where you at?

Where you hiding, fool? Sick.

I think we should have a toast to Shrek.

To who?

Darren Mullet, the guy we planted today.

Oh, I can't drink to that.

They didn't mean we're celebrating.

They just... You know, to say goodbye.

- Hmm.

- That's all she meant, Justine.

- Why do you call him Shrek?

- Why do you think?

Because he was big...

and green

and ugly.

Except he wasn't actually

that green, though, was he?

But, f*** me, was he ugly!

Wasn't that the skinny kid

who threw up in assembly?

That's priceless. You spoke at his

funeral and you didn't know who he was.

Well, in that case we should definitely

give him a proper sendoff, right?

Justine, why don't you do the toast?

Er... rest in peace, Darren Mullet.

Lardy Boy.

To Lardy Boy.

Mm.

Mm, rest in piss, bro.

Ah.

Ha-ha-ha.

# One for my homies, one for my blud

One for my jeans...

Paying my respect

the only way I know how.

To Mullet. I bet the only reason

you hung yourself...

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