Top Gear Page #3

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for less than 1,500 quid each.

Right, my car.

Well, it's got quite a sticky

throttle, but other than that,

every single thing works,

even the air conditioning.

I've never, ever had a car with

working air conditioning

before on one of these trips,

but I have now, and it is joyous.

The Impreza is all about that engine

and drivetrain.

You're just aware,

constantly, that this is rally-bred.

The other two, they're just sporty

versions of ordinary estate cars.

This is the best car here, fact.

It's a cracking car, the Volvo 850 R.

This one's done 145,000 miles.

It's just clicked over, in fact,

onto that figure,

and you wouldn't really know.

It's so smooth,

the transmission is excellent,

the engine is silky, everything works.

Except the air conditioning.

But at least that saves me

the effort of getting really annoyed

when the other two deliberately

break it out of spite,

jealousy and small-mindedness.

Crikey! It's the Ugandan rozzers.

I think the President's

just driven past us.

A couple of rules you need to know,

really, about Uganda,

if you're coming here.

Number one, if you're a male

homosexual and you indulge in

your homosexuality, it's life imprisonment.

That's very important to know.

Also, it is compulsory here for

motorcyclists to wear crash helmets,

unless you are a woman on her way

back from the hairdressers.

Then you are allowed to wear

a carrier bag on your head instead.

I promise that's true!

At this point, the producers

told us to stop off

at the still bullet-scarred

Entebbe Airport.

It was here, in 1976, that Israeli

special forces staged a daring

operation to rescue passengers

from a hijacked airliner.

Wow, look at this!

I'll tell you what, I couldn't be

Israeli special forces.

You'd get out of breath.

I'm exhausted.

They'd be sitting there thinking,

"Help, here comes help," and then...

"Sorry, just give us five!"

More bullet holes.

'Out on the balcony,

we saw something a bit worrying.'

Is that a Ford Scorpio?

Where? There.

It is.

Estate.

I'd say that's there for one reason!

That's why they brought us here. Funny.

Funny. Because what that is...

That's the forfeit car. It is.

If one of our cars goes wrong...

Which, let's face it, James,

yours is going to break in half.

I've always liked the Scorpio!

You have not!

You know that word you like,

James, gopping?

It is gopping!

That was invented. Nothing has ever

been more gopping than that!

'And as we prepared to leave,

'it looked like one of us

would soon be driving it.'

That's full throttle.

It's revving, slightly,

but I'm not doing it.

You know this all-mechanical BMW of

yours? You were very proud of that.

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