Too Many Husbands Page #2

please remember, Gertrude,

that we were discussing only a memory.

Attention please. Pennsylvania Central

Airlines for Washington and New York City.

Flight Number 9 may be delayed

20 or 25 minutes

awaiting local mail and express.

- Hey, porter, how are you doing?

- I don't know.

Everybody keeps telling me

to wait one moment, please,

and that's what I'm triple doing.

- Have you got New York yet?

- There's a... humming noise. Is that good?

Not the way you tell it.

I'd better take over.

What was the last thing anybody said?

- Something about something.

- Yeah, thanks.

- Yeah, I'm still here.

- Anything else, sir?

Yeah, go out to the desk and tell them not to

let the New York plane get away without me.

And take this four bits and put it in the

Shoeshine's Ever Loving Fund for the

Restitution of Restitutionality. You got that?

- Yes, sir.

- What did I say?

- Hurry.

- Right.

Hello. Hello, Vicky!

A long distance call from Norfolk, sir.

There seems to be some difficulty

at the other end.

Norfolk?

I'll take it.

- Do I know anybody in Norfolk?

- Not since I started here, sir.

Well, it's probably somebody

for Mr. Lowndes, or my daughter.

You can go, Peter.

Hello?

- Hello.

- Hello.

- Hello.

- Well, Poppadaddy.

- Poppadaddy?

- This is Bill.

I said, this is Bill, your son-in-law.

Remember? Hello! Hello, operator!

- Hello.

- I guess we were cut off or something.

How are you? This is Bill.

- But Bill is dead!

- Who's dead? I said this is Bill.

- Lf this is somebody's idea of a joke...

- Joke?

Listen, Poppadaddy. I've got a mole

on my hip and I can't stand turnips.

And you said your daughter would wind up

in the bughouse when she married me.

Now, where is my wife?

Vicky's out.

We all thought you were drowned.

No. I was washed up on an island

nobody ever heard of.

I was picked up by a little tub

without any wireless.

Hey look, I've got to get a shave

and a haircut and catch a plane.

Tell Vicky to meet me

at the New York airport at 8:00.

- I'll see you later. So long.

- Oh, Bill... Wait, Bill!

Gentlemen, this is a wonderful world.

Yes, sir, a wonderful world.

Oh, Bill, you can't come home. Your wife...

Hello, Dad.

- What's the matter?

- Nothing. Is there?

You sure look as though

you'd seen a ghost.

Seen him? No. Where were you?

Henry's office.

Then to lunch, then some shopping. Why?

Nothing. Anything unusual?

No, except Henry's taken Bill's name

from the firm.

- That's funny.

- What's funny about it?

I always thought it would be sort of a nice

memorial to Bill to keep his name in the firm.

- Yes, I think Bill would like that.

- You know, Dad,

I had the strangest feeling today

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes