Toilet Stories Page #2

---

but can't gel him off of the bowl again.

I'll be honest, Mrs. Schohusen.

- I hope so.

The body has to go.

The raised seals won't fit on it.

But my Willi installed the toilet himself.

Don't worry, I happen to have

an exhibit piece in my van.

You can pay me the wholesale price.

Right, you happen to have one here.

And I'd give you

a special price on the Washlet-G, too.

Young man, I've heard enough about

your Mercedes. I have to cook dinner.

Mrs. Schohusen?

I'll leave the brochure here for you.

Take it with you.

Have a nice evening, Mrs. Schohusen.

Awesome, man.

Look.

What was that?

- Mesut ...zil, man.

Stop, man.

- Why?

Are you gay or what, man?

- Calm down, man.

Know what I think?

He's gay.

Is he right?

Are you gay or what, huh?

Weren't you listening, man?

Tarkan asked you a question.

Don't got no respect?

You disrespecting me?

Are you antisocial or what?

Give us a smoke.

Sorry.

I don't smoke.

- What did you say, pops?

Yo, he just bumped into me.

Did you just bump into me or what?

You want trouble? You want trouble, huh?

You want some real trouble?

Are you a Nazi?

What now, d*ckhead?

F***ing Nazi.

You're taking a shower, dickface.

Hey, Nazi,

you stink.

He's done now.

It's his own fault, the Nazi c*nt.

Kung fu and sh*t, right?

- You think you can do kung fu or what?

Sure, man.

Yo, that's gay sh*t. Watch.

That's kung fu.

Cool, man. Kung fu and sh*t, yeah?

But you forgot something.

- What'? - This Mr. Miyagi technique.

Wash on, wash off!

Gentlemen?

You want more?

Son of a b*tch.

I don't know why Michi

just gave away our Kandinsky either.

For just 200,000.

Yes.

For some charity. Children or disabled

in Africa, what do I know'?

Charlotte?

Patricia.

Sweetie, I'll call you later, OK?

Sweetie!

It's so nice to see you.

Yes, really nice.

- It's been an eternity.

At your goose dinner.

Three or four months ago.

Exactly.

How's Constantin?

I wanted to gel in touch with you,

but I was so busy.

Our vacation home in Provence.

Then we were skiing in Aspen,

and this and that. You know the drill.

Sure, no problem.

You can't go to St. Moritz anymore.

It was such impudence last time:

We arrived and our suite

had been given to guess whom?

Russians.

Russians.

Can you imagine? They're everywhere now.

- Yes...

you indicated that last time, loo.

Sweetie,

I'm about to have a photo shoot for the press

for donating our Kandinsky,

but I need to confess something.

Well, you know.

I haven't called you

because I was so embarrassed last time.

Embarrassed?

- Well...

I bought magnificent geese

that were massaged for two years

and then Michi invited such people.

I was so ashamed.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes