Tim and Eric's Billion Dollar Movie Page #2
No! No!
Pull him up.
One, two, three!
That's not how you do CPR.
You go like this.
See? Do it. Sh*t.
He's drying out.
- He's drying out! Put him back in!
- Change our plan!
I can't breathe! I can't breathe!
No. No, no, no, no.
Just steep it.
Why can't I just work
at a reduced rate?
The money's gone. We lost a billion
dollars. We're screwed.
Easy, Jim Joe.
Easy.
After all that I've
done for you!
Oh, Jim Joe.
This is so much harder
for us than it is for you.
All right. We're sorry.
We're just broke.
Great singing voice.
He's wonderful.
He's remarkable.
I guess this is goodbye.
Time to move on.
Please out.
Is it "please out"
or "peace out"?
- It's up to you.
- Enjoy it.
Please out.
So, with nowhere left to go,
Tim and Eric headed
Circus Disco,
I don't know what we're
going to do, man.
I think we're finished.
We screwed up.
No one's ever gonna let us
direct another movie
after that sh*t.
You know, I used to have this
crazy fantasy of the two of us
walking hand in hand
down that red carpet
on our way
to the Academy Awards.
That's nice.
I don't think
it's gonna happen.
I just want to get
f***ing drunk.
Forget about all this
billion-dollar bullshit.
I'm glad you said it because
I'm feeling the same way.
I want to get
so f***ing high.
- I want a hashish.
- I'm gonna get skit on my nose.
Yo, I want to go dumb.
I want to cut
my f***ing arm off.
I'd love to f***ing get
blackout-drunk with you,
get a bunch of dudes,
put a bunch of sh*t
up our holes.
Yeah,
let's go f***ing nuts.
Let's dance!
I want to get
so f***in' high
So f***in' high
I want to get
so f***in' high
Yo, I want
to go dumb
I'm gonna
get skit on my nose
Skit-skit-skit
on my nose...
Aah!
I'm gonna get
skit on my nose
Skit-skit-skit
on my nose
Dumb...
Aah!
Aah!
I want a hashish
Ha-ha-ha-hashish
I want a hashish
Ha-ha-ha-hashish
Cut my f***ing arm off
F***-f***-f***-
f***ing arm off...
F***-f***-f***-
f***ing arm off...
Ow!
Put a bunch of sh*t
up our holes
Bunch-bunch of sh*t
up our holes...
Oh, wow.
Bunch-bunch of sh*t.
Ohh...
Yeah.
- You all right?
- Yeah.
Do you want to make
a billion dollars?
It's easy. Come and run my mall.
You'll be rich.
Hey, Eric,
come check this out.
You all love malls,
so take my mall.
What's the matter?
You don't want to make
a billion dollars?
Anyone can run
a stupid f***ing mall,
even you.
Are you a man,
or possibly two men,
who need to make
a billion dollars?
Come and run my mall.
We're having hard times.
We need your ideas.
Everybody needs a billion.
Come and take over the S'wallow Valley
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"Tim and Eric's Billion Dollar Movie" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 23 Apr. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/tim_and_eric's_billion_dollar_movie_21916>.
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