Tim and Eric's Billion Dollar Movie Page #3

---

Mall and pizza court.

It's easy.

Not hard.

I said it's easy,

not hard.

There's never been an easier

way to make a billion dollars.

It's easy. And here's

- it's easy.

What's the matter? You don't want

to make a billion dollars?

My day wasn't going good

until I put on these--

Billion dollars.

Man, I love this--

Billion dollars.

I'm giving away a billion--

billion dollars!

But you gotta

run my mall.

Please save our mall.

We need your help.

Ah.

I work at one of the kiosks,

and it would mean the world

- if someone would come in here...

- She's so beautiful.

...and help us make

this mall great again.

Come to the S'wallow Valley Mall,

right off the 182 freeway

in S'wallow Valley.

Sounds crazy, Eric,

I know, but I think we can do this.

Yo, I like it.

- This mall could be easy money, man.

- That's right.

You know what? And I'm really good at

numbers, accounting, all that stuff.

Well, you know me. I'm a big P.R.,

strategy, marketing kind of guy.

But you know,

more importantly, man,

I just want to say this could

be a fresh start for us.

We could forget all about

this Hollywood bullshit

and really reinvent

ourselves.

Yeah. You know, I've been meaning

to tell you this all night,

but I love you, man.

And I love our friendship.

Well, thank you.

I honor you,

and I honor our friendship,

and I honor our love.

It would mean a lot to me

if we could run this mall

and I could make love

to this hot woman

and we could start a business

partnership together.

I love it, but I've

got a big problem.

I hate to do this

to you here.

I need to have an emergency

business meeting right now.

Because guess what? We don't have

a name for our company yet.

Sh*t.

All right.

What are we good at?

Well, we're men

who do business.

We want to be

business members.

We're boys

who do business.

- Yeah.

- But...

Eric. Look.

It's a sign.

"Doing business."

"Dobis."

I love it. It's got a ring

to it, doesn't it?

- Yeah.

- Dobis.

"That's who we are."

We're Dobis P.R.

Dobis.

- Look at that.

- Look at all the elements of business.

- Look it. They're all there, Eric.

- Market research.

- There's strategic P.R.

- Profit and loss.

I'll have the report

to you by Monday.

I'll look forward to it.

Guys,

I told you, you should

never have fired me.

Jim Joe,

what do you want?

I've got some poetry about regret

I'd like to share with you.

Come on, Jim Joe.

Friendship is warm,

friendship is touch.

Jim Joe, please stop.

We have to do this for ourselves.

We're sorry.

- We've got to leave you behind.

- I'm sick, and I'm lost,

and I'm tired

of floating around.

We love you, Jim Joe.

We wish you the best.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes