Tim and Eric's Billion Dollar Movie Page #2

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No! No!

Pull him up.

One, two, three!

That's not how you do CPR.

You go like this.

See? Do it. Sh*t.

He's drying out.

- He's drying out! Put him back in!

- Change our plan!

I can't breathe! I can't breathe!

No. No, no, no, no.

Just steep it.

Why can't I just work

at a reduced rate?

The money's gone. We lost a billion

dollars. We're screwed.

Easy, Jim Joe.

Easy.

After all that I've

done for you!

Oh, Jim Joe.

This is so much harder

for us than it is for you.

All right. We're sorry.

We're just broke.

Great singing voice.

He's wonderful.

He's remarkable.

I guess this is goodbye.

Time to move on.

Please out.

Is it "please out"

or "peace out"?

- It's up to you.

- Enjoy it.

Please out.

So, with nowhere left to go,

Tim and Eric headed

to their favorite nightclub,

Circus Disco,

to drown their sorrows.

I don't know what we're

going to do, man.

I think we're finished.

We screwed up.

No one's ever gonna let us

direct another movie

after that sh*t.

You know, I used to have this

crazy fantasy of the two of us

walking hand in hand

down that red carpet

on our way

to the Academy Awards.

That's nice.

I don't think

it's gonna happen.

I just want to get

f***ing drunk.

Forget about all this

billion-dollar bullshit.

I'm glad you said it because

I'm feeling the same way.

I want to get

so f***ing high.

- I want a hashish.

- I'm gonna get skit on my nose.

Yo, I want to go dumb.

I want to cut

my f***ing arm off.

I'd love to f***ing get

blackout-drunk with you,

get a bunch of dudes,

put a bunch of sh*t

up our holes.

Yeah,

let's go f***ing nuts.

Let's dance!

I want to get

so f***in' high

So f***in' high

I want to get

so f***in' high

Yo, I want

to go dumb

I'm gonna

get skit on my nose

Skit-skit-skit

on my nose...

Aah!

I'm gonna get

skit on my nose

Skit-skit-skit

on my nose

Dumb...

Aah!

Aah!

I want a hashish

Ha-ha-ha-hashish

I want a hashish

Ha-ha-ha-hashish

Cut my f***ing arm off

F***-f***-f***-

f***ing arm off...

F***-f***-f***-

f***ing arm off...

Ow!

Put a bunch of sh*t

up our holes

Bunch-bunch of sh*t

up our holes...

Oh, wow.

Bunch-bunch of sh*t.

Ohh...

Yeah.

- You all right?

- Yeah.

Do you want to make

a billion dollars?

It's easy. Come and run my mall.

You'll be rich.

Hey, Eric,

come check this out.

You all love malls,

so take my mall.

What's the matter?

You don't want to make

a billion dollars?

Anyone can run

a stupid f***ing mall,

even you.

Are you a man,

or possibly two men,

who need to make

a billion dollars?

Come and run my mall.

We're having hard times.

We need your ideas.

Everybody needs a billion.

Come and take over the S'wallow Valley

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