This Isn't 'The Twilight Saga: Eclipse': The XXX Parody Page #2

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You know, cause you're the one

who's gonna have to live with him.

Alright, enough with the heavy.

Mom.

- Congraduation.

I didn't want you to spending you're money.

I didn't, come on.

Are these all our old trip T-shirts?

- Emm. -- Get out.

I saved'em all.

I thought they'd make a good quilt.

To keep you warm up in Alaska.

Remember this one?

Ensanada.

The snake pit.

- Yep.

But this one is my favourite.

Here...

The three-headed lobster in Maine.

This is amazing.

- No, honey. I'm glad you've like it.

I just figured, you know,

when you get older, have kids,

We can add to it.

Maybe go visit...

...the world's largest catsup bottle

or something.

Thanks

- Oh...

I'm glad you like it.

I just thought, you should have

a little piece of me, up there in Alaska.

Mom.

- Yeah.

I miss you.

- Oh, honey. I miss you too.

You sure this is where you saw her?

She's almost here.

On your left.

Wait.

She's in their territory.

She'll get away.

No she won't.

Emmett, no.

Did you regret going?

No.

It was really great to see my mom.

Just really hard saying goodbye.

It doesn't have to be goodbye.

- Is that why you ask me to go?

You thought I was gonna change my mind.

I'm always hoping for that.

What?

If I asked you to stay in the car,

would you?

Of course not.

Hey.

Charlie said you left town.

- Yeah. To visit my Mom, why?

Just checking to see if you're still human.

I'm coming here to warn you.

If your kind come on our land again...

Wait, what?

You didn't tell her?

- Just leave it alone, Jacob.

Tell me what?

Emmett and Paul had a misunderstanding,

there is nothing to worry about.

Listen to you.

Did you lie to get her out of town, too?

You should leave.

Now.

She has a right to know.

She is the one the red-head wants.

Victoria?

Alices's vision.

- I was trying to protect you.

By lying to me.

Okey. We're gonna talk about this, but...

You.

Why haven't you called me back?

I had nothing to say.

Well, I have tons. Hold on.

- Hey.

Bella.

Edward, you have to trust me.

- I do trust you.

It's him I don't trust.

Lose the grin, Jacob.

We're just going for a ride.

Hold on tight.

Are you sure,

this is a good idea?

I'm a 'vampire girl',

remember?

Look who's back.

- Whatup, Bella?

Quil, you too?

- Yep. Finally made the pack.

I'm glad you're here, Bella.

Maybe we can get a break from

Jake's obsessive inner monologue.

'I wish Bella would call'.

'I wish Bella wouldn't call'.

- 'Maybe I should call Bella'.

'Maybe I should call Bella and hang up'.

Alright, you can shut up now.

Bella, this is Leah Clearwater.

Harry's daughter.

Hey.

I'm really sorry about your father.

If you're here to torture Jacob

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