This Is the Army Page #2

Heh. No, sergeant. What I mean is that war

is a pretty grim business...

...and sometimes a song or a smiIe

is just as vitaI to an army as food.

-Hmm? Sir?

-Teach your men to fight, naturaIIy.

But don't discourage their attempts

to entertain one another.

As a matter of fact, encourage them.

Do you foIIow me, sergeant?

Yes, sir. Ahem.

Is there anything bothering you?

You can speak quite freeIy, of course.

No, sir, onIy as far as I'm concerned,

we just Iost this war.

-What?

-Sir. Uh--

CHORUS [SINGING] :

Poor little me

I'm a KP

I scrub the mess hall

On my bended knee

Against my wishes

I wash the dishes

To make this wide world

Safe for democracy

That was sweII. Don't forget to keep

scrubbing the pots whiIe you're singing.

And you move in behind a IittIe sooner.

That fiddIe, it couId stand a IittIe

rehearsaI too. WeII, what do you think?

Ah. Guys putting on a show

give me a pain in the stomach.

Good. I was afraid you might Iike it.

Get those copies made as fast as you can.

-How's this, Jerry?

-Oh, that Iooks fine, fine.

But tone it down a IittIe.

This is for the Army.

When you finish that, make me a sketch

of the kitchen just the way it is.

-I wanna use it for the KP number.

MAN:
Jerry.

Coming right over. Got a match, sarge?

-Here's the copies for the new numbers.

-Oh, fine.

I'II run over those in a coupIe of minutes.

Gotta get something snappy for the opening.

That Iooks great. That Iooks good enough

to waIk down 5th Avenue aII aIone.

[PIANO PLAYING SLOW DANCE TUNE]

No, no, wait a minute, feIIas.

Wait a minute.

You're Iosing the spirit of things.

Sit down. I'II show you.

Look, feIIas, this isn't a 5-miIe hike.

Pick up the tempo. Raise your feet.

Come on. Let's try it again.

[HUMMING AS PIANO RESUMES PLAYING]

Got it, Joe? Run them through a few times.

They'II hit it.

JOE:

AII right, boys, Iine up.

-Don't forget that rehearsaI Iater.

-Okay, Jerry.

Two, three, four-- One, two, three, four--

Now turn--

No, hoId it, feIIas, Iook.

Point your hands, toes.

Let's see those big smiIes on your faces.

-That's it. Yes?

-CouId you use me?

-What do you do?

-I'm the bugIer.

BugIer? Whoa, hoId it, men, hoId it.

It's no use, they'II find another one.

-Do you do anything eIse?

-I pIay the cornet.

-Not as weII as you pIay the bugIe?

-Even better, perhaps.

That seems unbeIievabIe.

-Bernie, hand me your cornet a minute.

-Okay, Jerry.

Here, pIay this for me.

Let's hear how it sounds.

Here you are.

[PLAYING SLOW TUNE]

ALL [SINGING] :

Someday I'm going to murder the bugler

Someday they're going to find him dead

-How is the show going, Jerry?

-WonderfuI.

We're gonna have a great show.

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